


are you taking me home?

by staysharp



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Baker Hunk (Voltron), Hiatus, Landlord Allura, M/M, Nursery Owner Shiro, Pining, Wedding Planner Lance, Writer Keith (Voltron), and you should be too, desperately want to achieve fluff when the time is right, i have a lot of fun things planned for this, its aa! 2.0 but a little less wild, photographer pidge, still excited though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23467222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staysharp/pseuds/staysharp
Summary: UPDATE 7/20: I am not here to say I am giving up on this- however, I am here to say I am taking a break. I have been feeling pretty mentally burnt out. Also, going with the plot I have so far is not working for me. Therefore, I might change a few existing details, and/or remove current content once I am satisfied with a new outline, which will come when I am ready. Thank you for your support, and I hope you all stay safe.Keith, a freelance writer, is on the move- again. This time, he finds himself in Monterey, CA, and isn’t planning on staying around long. But, someone he remembers from the past, who is now a wedding planner longing to be loved, may change that.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 83





	1. I want not to want anything

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone. i'm back with another long fic
> 
> i have created a playlist for this story, so if you'd like, i'd love it if you'd give it a listen:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ui6076fVrRhdz4Hf64rVZ?si=DoFHmuFZSma2ZHNzDG07xg
> 
> story title from muna's "end of desire”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At that, Shiro huffed over the phone, and Keith smiled as he looked about the empty, empty room. He liked how it all was centered, every thing of value tucked into the middle of the room, soon to be on the road. But most of all, he liked how little of it there was, and how there was no one he had to say goodbye to.
> 
> His heart squeezed, and it began to all trickle back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from muna's "end of desire"

“There.” 

“You’re really doing this, aren’t you?” Shiro’s voice came through the phone, cutting through the silence surrounding Keith. “ _Again_.”

“No, not really. This is all just some elaborate plan to mess with you,” Keith said jokingly, as he pushed the box he’d just taped away. 

“You say that, but sometimes I don’t think you’re kidding.”

Keith rolled his eyes as he slid the tape across the paneled floor, only for it to stop inches away from Kosmo, who sleepily opened his eyes. “Sorry.”

“I mean, thank you for apologizing. I just-”

“Was talking to Kosmo.” Keith glanced over at the balcony, at the way the sun glowed over the horizon. “Were you going to say something?”

“Charming. Are you going to listen?”

“Depends. But, go ahead.”

“Listen, Keith.” 

Keith laughed to himself as he imagined Shiro pinching the bridge of his nose, the traditional “listen” signature move. He glanced around, and as he looked around the empty room, he didn’t feel anything, any sort of regret. It was like walking into a place for the first time, knowing there was nothing to get attached to. 

“-I get it. You’re young, and you want to move around, really consider your options. Hell, when I was overseas-”

He shouldered the phone, watching that Arizona glow. If anything, that was something he’d sort of miss. That waxy, orange glow that seemed to last forever. 

“-it might help to think about, especially cause saving money really should be on your mind about now.”

“Uh huh,” Keith sighed.

“Don’t you sigh at me, young man.”

“Young man?” Keith snorted. “Oh, I get it. You’re trying to be funny, huh?”

“That’s it,” came faintly in the background from Adam. 

“Be quiet, you’re undermining my authority,” came from Shiro, who was clearly failing to block out his voice from the call. “Anyways, Keith-”

“Shiro. I love you, but please, _please_ tell Adam he’s the only authority I respect.”

“I will not do that.”

“Thanks Keith!” came faintly from the background, making Keith smile.

“Adam, I love you, but stay out of this,” came from Shiro. There was some shuffling and the sound of a door shutting.

“See? This is why I don’t respect you. You never listen.”

“...You’re lucky you’re my brother, whom I love.” 

Keith moved closer to Kosmo, and began swirling his fingers in his dog’s fur. “Shiro-”

“Look, you clearly already have everything in place, and just...what am I gonna do?”

“Shiro. Come on, I’m just-”

“No, if this is what you want to do, then be safe. Call me when you cross the state line, and every hundred miles, just so I don’t read from some other writer or whatever that you’ve died. Horrendously. Such as, you check into one Hotel California-”

Keith cracked a smile. “Shiro, we’ve had this talk- it’s just a song.”

“You and Adam both tell me the same thing.”

“And besides, that’s where I’ll be making one of my calls.”

At that, Shiro huffed over the phone, and Keith smiled as he looked about the empty, empty room. He liked how it all was centered, every thing of value tucked into the middle of the room, soon to be on the road. But most of all, he liked how little of it there was, and how there was no one he had to say goodbye to.

His heart squeezed, and it began to all trickle back.

“Well, don’t let me keep you then. You’re going to need your rest, and uh, remember. Call me.”

“You’re leaving?” 

“Yeah.” Keith squeezed the phone a little tighter, and Kosmo lifted his head after feeling Keith stop petting him.

“Hey Keith?” 

_Oh god, oh god, oh-_

“I love you.”

_Keep it together-_

“Love you, too. Now, go get some sleep yourself.” Keith made a great show of pressing the end button, and slammed his phone down on the ground.

And suddenly, there was noise.

_“My mom says we’re moving, so I guess that just means for the summer.” Keith stopped the soccer ball with his foot, and stood there._

_“Oh. Well, pretty sure moving means you’re gone. Forever, and you’ve only been here for a bit.” Lance stuck his hands in his pockets. “My cousin from my mom’s side did that and now I don’t even remember what he looks like. Pretty sure he might have grown another arm.”_

_“Don’t think that’s how it works.” Keith felt himself smiled a lopsided smile, and then kicked the ball over. “But, I’ll be sure to bring back news if I grow another limb.”_

_Lance stopped the ball. “That’d be pretty cool.” He grinned, a toothy, boyish grin. “Then my friend would be even cooler.” He cocked his head to the side. “But, I’ll be glad to see you again, either way.”_

_Keith froze, and in that moment, he logged that smile right into his head._

_Just another one that seemed to catch him off guard as of late, and gave him a warm fluttery feeling in his stomach. He clutched at his shirt over his stomach._

_Sunlight streamed down, and one last breeze filtered through that May day, ruffling Lance’s brown hair, and then, there was the ringing of the bell._

Keith focused back, the sun long gone past the horizon. That waxy orange glow had become suffocated under navy. He touched his face, to find it strangely wet. “Oh, oh shit.” He moved his hand away, and tried to see something in the rapidly fading light. 

_“We’re coming back, right?” Keith quit looking at the blurring landscape, to look at Shiro, who’d taken over driving. Their mom slept in the back, head pressed against the headrest._

_The car shifted as a pothole bumped the car up a little._

_“Right?”_

_“Keith, we’ll do our best. Someday. But, for now, we’re taking...another path.”_

_“So, someday?” Keith turned, and watched the rows of greenery follow one another without much of a gap in between. “Like, in the Fall?”_

_“Hey, Keith?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I love you.”_

_Keith rested his forehead against the cool of the glass. “Love you, too.” He shut his eyes, and thought to himself- Soon._

_Soon._

Keith came back to as soon as he felt Kosmo plop his head on his knee. He felt the odd tiredness rimming his eyes, along with the unmistakable wetness. “Ah, hi there.” 

The room continued to darken, but Keith could only sit there. When Kosmo curled up next to his leg to sleep, he gently moved away, but with a strange urgency boiling inside him. He rushed over to the stack of boxes, and moved to tear the tape off of one of them.

He stopped, feeling the shiny strip, and sat back. What was he doing? He rubbed the heel of his hand against his forehead. “No, no.” Closing his eyes, he began to feel nauseous and then pressed the other heel of his hand to his head, and eventually, cradled his face in his hands. “That was years ago,” he let go to himself, and moved his hands away so they were the focus in his vision.

 _He_ was years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi dear reader. thank you for either coming back to my work or coming upon it with fresh eyes! i hope you'll join me on this journey after the saga that was and, action! always feel free to talk to me if you're compelled to do so. i hope you are all well, and that this will hopefully give you some respite in these very strange times.
> 
> find me:  
> tumblr: bluethisisforyou  
> twitter: _staysharp_


	2. getting back on the highway (could be going nowhere)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was about six hours later when Keith pulled into Salinas Valley, Monterey in just a few turns and stretches. The sun was significantly gone past the skyline, and Keith could feel his lids pulling down. As he drove, he rolled down the window for some air, only to find it way colder than it was in Arizona. “Shit.” He rolled it back up, and watched as the sky got darker and darker and-
> 
> Maggie Rogers played softly in the car, mixed with Kosmo’s steady breathing. Boxes shifted this way and that at turns, and finally, at 10:32 pm, he pulled into the parking lot of one Balmera Gardens. He parked between two white lines, and turned the car off.
> 
> And everything was quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from maggie rogers' "better"

Keith woke up before the sun, before the pink light.

He loaded everything into his car, bringing Kosmo last, who trotted after like usual. Once everything was in, he placed his apartment key back in his landlord’s box and took off.

Stretches of undisturbed desert lay before him. Every so often, he caught the creatures of the road looking at him as he drove by in his mission to leave Arizona behind. Their eyes lingered, and every so often, Kosmo would furiously press against the car window, barking, and keeping Keith much awake.

So awake, dreaming was forgotten.

He wasn’t sure how far it took him, but eventually he hit Los Angeles: the first real stop. He pulled over for gas, and a bite to eat. When he climbed back in the car, he had to fend Kosmo off of him. “Hold on! Kosmo!” He laughed, and then fished a burger out. “Ok, ok- here.” Kosmo snatched it and disappeared to the back seat. Keith shook his head, and then began digging into his own burger. As he chewed, he surveyed just how full the landscape was now. People, and pedestrians and traffic, most not meeting his eyes. Which, fitting for a place on the way to the new place.

He finished, and shot a quick text to Shiro, to which Shiro called seconds after.

“Hello?” Keith began gathering his trash.

“Yes, hi. Glad to know you’re alive.”

“Yeah, alive in LA.” Keith stuffed the trash in the bag, tossing it on the passenger seat. “Bout to hit the road again.”

“You still have a good several hours to go, I imagine- will you be able to make it through the Grapevine? Did they say anything about snow? Because, I looked it up and-”

“I checked. Should be good if I keep going today. Staying until tomorrow means I’ll get stuck out here, and I gotta get there today- I told the landlord to expect me today.”

“ _Keith_ -”

“Trust me, I’ve got this.” Keith surveyed the parking lot around him. “You’re talking to the expert on driving, here.”

“Uh huh, Mr. expert. Don’t think I don’t know about the mark on my old car.”

Keith smiled, sheepish. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You really think you’ve gone years and I didn’t know. Oh, Keith.”

“Well, you don’t have that car anymore, so even if I did do that, it doesn’t really matter.”

Shiro sighed. “Just- be careful.”

“You got it.”

It was about six hours later when Keith pulled into Salinas Valley, Monterey in just a few turns and stretches. The sun was significantly gone past the skyline, and Keith could feel his lids pulling down. As he drove, he rolled down the window for some air, only to find it way colder than it was in Arizona. “Shit.” He rolled it back up, and watched as the sky got darker and darker and-

Maggie Rogers played softly in the car, mixed with Kosmo’s steady breathing. Boxes shifted this way and that at turns, and finally, at 10:32 pm, he pulled into the parking lot of one Balmera Gardens. He parked between two white lines, and turned the car off.

And everything was quiet.

“We did it, Kosmo. We’re here,” Keith said, but mostly to himself. He turned to see Kosmo looking at him. “Gonna go check in, so, hang tight.”

Kosmo closed his eyes again, and Keith removed the keys and took off.

As he walked up on the sidewalk, he felt a buzz from his back pocket. In a haze, he fished out his phone to see several texts from Hunk and Pidge, ranging from “text when you arrive!” to “are you still alive cause if you are I need that favor you promised me”, the favor text being from Pidge. Keith laughed a little, then walked right into the door that led into the building. “Ugh.” He held up a hand to his forehead, and when we looked up, he saw two figures a little down the hall. He saw a woman glance back, then playfully hit the man next to her, whose shoulders were shaking.

Keith flushed, and took a moment before opening the door. As he walked in he saw the woman waving bye to the man, jokingly telling him off. As he walked, it felt a little like he was transfixed, as he watched the man, the broadness of his shoulders, and that short, lovely brown hair. Just like- 

The man laughed in response, and turned, almost fully. “Till next time ‘Lura.” And he laughed again, before sticking his hands in his pockets.

At that, Keith felt like the wind was knocked out of him. 

_There’s no way_. 

He shook his head, and listened, but nothing more happened. Yeah, no way. He glanced once to see the man had rounded the corner, was gone.

“Excuse me?” The woman stepped out more into the hall and smiled. “Are you okay?”

“I’m, uh, Keith. Kogane. We spoke-” Keith paused. “I’m guessing you’re asking because of the door.”

“A little bit, yeah.” The woman smiled gently. “But, if you’re okay, we can just pretend it never happened.”

“Thank you.”

The woman’s eyes lit up after a second and she nodded, tendrils of silver hair falling from her bun. “And yes! Mr. Kogane- you’re the new tenant.”

“Yeah- Here,” he finished lamely. “I’m here.”

“I recall you saying something of the sort for this week.” The woman shifted her stance, then stuck out her hand. “Name’s Allura Prince- you can call me Allura, though.” 

“Nice to meet you, officially.” Keith shook her hand, and relished quietly in the brief respite from the cold outside. “You can call me Keith.”

“Ok, Keith. Wonderful.” Allura turned halfways. “Why don’t you follow me?” She waved her hand to follow her as she disappeared through her tinsel-lined doorway. 

Keith followed, and was met with the warm smell of fresh cookies. Sure enough, he spied a tray on Allura’s table.

“Feel free to help yourself to some!” Allura rolled up her soft pink sweater sleeves and opened a file cabinet near a desk. “Had some extra cookie dough from a few days ago, so I made some for the tenants.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Keith took one, and pocketed it. 

There was some rustling, an “aha!”, and the closing of a cabinet drawer. Allura held a folder and crossed back over to the table. “Here we go. If I could just have you fill some things out, then I can direct you to your apartment. Third floor, yes?” She put the folder down and held out a pen.

“Yeah.” Keith took the pen, and grabbed the top of the chair. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all! And please ignore me, but please go ahead- you do look a bit tired.”

“Drove all day today, so, you’re not wrong.” Keith took a seat and began surveying the paperwork. He found his eyes blinking heavily, and shook himself out of it.

“Just be sure to sign where there’s a sticky note. The rest will be for later.” 

“Ok.” And half-reading, half-not, Keith started scrawling his name on line after line. After about five lines, he heard some shuffling behind him.

“So, do you mind if I ask you why you decided to move in today?”

“What do you mean?” Keith flipped a paper, and started signing.

“It’s the day before New Year’s Eve- you know, the second to last day of the year.”

Keith looked over at Allura. “If I’m being honest, I didn't really plan it that way. Just wanted to get out here- really no reason.”

Allura eased into a smile. “I take it you aren’t a big New Year’s resolutions person.”

“Not really.” Keith resumed his signing. An envelope slid next to him, and he looked back over.

Allura met his eyes and smiled. “No judgement, really. Was just curious, but you don’t come off as someone looking for that big change.” 

_Yeah, no big change here_ , Keith thought.

She smiled, and pointed to the envelope. “This is your key, and some info about what’s in your room- basically anything you might need to know for tonight/tomorrow. I will be out for most of tomorrow, but please leave me a note or anything if you have questions.”

New Year’s Eve. Right. “Sure. Thank you.” Keith nodded, and went back to signing. After a couple pages, he signed one last time and dated the exchange:

12/30/2019

He sat back, and set the pen down next to the folder. “Done signing.”

“Ok, wonderful.” Allura picked it up, and looked through. 

As she skimmed through, Keith noticed the curly sharpie lettering on the envelope: APT 30. Huh. He looked around, noting the easel in the corner of Allura’s living room before he heard her again.

“Ok, looks like everything’s where it needs to be.” She smiled, and tucked the folder under her arm.

Keith reached out, holding the envelope at his side. “Great.”

“Third floor is the last one, and your room is one of ten- I believe it’s the one across from the stairs. I trust you’ll be able to find it, as I am guessing it’d be best to let you carry on on your own.” Allura raised a questioning brow.

“That’d be appreciated, yeah.” Keith nodded, and began making his way back out. “Nice to meet you, Allura.”

“You too, Keith. Have a good night.”

Keith went back to his car, let Kosmo out and grabbed a box, and began the trek up the stairs. Thankfully, the flights weren’t too bad, and before he knew it, he saw APT 30 right in front of him. He beckoned Kosmo to follow him, and he set down the box so he could fish the key out of the envelope.

He slid it in, and turned it.

Kosmo barked, and it sounded throughout the hallway. 

Keith shushed him as Kosmo began nosing at APT 32’s door, the one next to Keith’s, and Keith shushed him, walking over to corral Kosmo with his legs and nudge him the other way. “Get in here.”

Kosmo turned his head, gave him puppy dog eyes, and Keith gave in. He patted his head. “You better understand this is not a reward.” He snapped his fingers and Kosmo finally followed, nosing in first as he, box in hand, pushed open the door.

It was just like Arizona, albeit smaller: paneled wood floors, a small counter mirroring the kitchen space. He set the box down, and turned right to find the bathroom, and made his way back to find some storage space, and a small area he could only assume to be a bedroom of sorts.

“Here we are,” Keith repeated to Kosmo, but not really.

Twenty minutes later, he finished bringing everything in. He barely got through setting up his sleeping bag before promptly passing out beyond reach.

So much so, he slept through the knocking on his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! will hopefully post the next chapter soon ~
> 
> find me:  
> tumblr: bluethisisforyou  
> twitter: _staysharp_


	3. don't ever become a stranger (I could recognize anywhere)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith fed Kosmo again, and went for a walk to the grocery store just down the street. He came back, cooked some soup, made some toast, and settled in for an inside kind of night. 
> 
> Simple as that.
> 
> It was just December 31st, a day that was really nothing special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from taylor swift's "new year's day"

Keith awoke to the muted sound of gulls calling out, and the feeling of a wet tongue against his face. His eyes shot open, as he barred his arms so he could push Kosmo away. “Hey. Hey, come on!” 

When Kosmo was fairly away, Keith sat up, his back feeling the bite. He groaned, and fished his hand around until he felt purchase with his phone. He turned it on, and blinked quickly as he read the time: 3:32 pm. “What,” he muttered, and clicked open his phone, to find multiple texts itching for him to notice them. He clicked messages, and tapped on Hunk’s messaging to write back.

**3:33 pm**  
**> > am technically moved in**

He clicked out and pressed on Pidge’s.

**3:34 pm**  
**> > am around now**  
**> > and about the favor, don’t know what you’re talking about**

He clicked out, again, and shot one last one to Shiro.

**3:34pm**  
**> > got in last night. just woke up**

He clicked out, and slid his phone onto the floor. As he sat there, he studied the ceiling above him. There were little craters of white here and there, but nothing too crazy- and as he thought about it, he didn’t really remember the various ceilings he’d seen. As he turned his head around, he caught the view from the sliding glass door. 

Stepping slowly after standing, he unlatched the door and went out. The cold was still biting, but the sky was a soft blue, a kind of gentle respite. A breeze came by, blowing his hair in his face.

“Ah.” He brushed his hair back with one hand, and slid the hair tie he’d forgotten off of his wrist. Once his hair was haphazardly up, he studied the landscape before him- low buildings gently sloped down the level waves of land, and in the far off distance, that pale blue strip of surf lay there- _there_. He took a deep breath and could smell the faintest whiff of the ocean salt that lay on the air.

He closed his eyes, and then opened them when he heard something ringing. As he turned to go back in, he noticed a surfboard on his neighbor’s balcony. Huh. _Neighbor must be crazy to surf now_ , Keith thought as he stepped back in, shutting the door. 

He scooped his phone up off the floor and smiled as he picked up the call.

“Yeah?”

“Keith! Hi!” Hunk’s voice warmed the place by degrees. Speaking of degrees-

“Hi Hunk.” Keith smiled as he padded over to his box of clothes. 

“So glad you got in safe!”

“Yeah, it was a bit of a drive. So, me too.” He squatted, and began removing the tape. “How have you been?” 

“Great! Things at the bakery have been going more smoothly, and this morning was the busiest it’s been all this week!”

“Good- that’s so good to hear.” He fished out a sweater, and put his phone down, putting it on speaker as he wrestled his way in.

“Yeah- before the subject changes, you’ve got to come visit the bakery soon!”  
  
“Will I get free treats?” Keith joked, as he pulled his head through, pulling the sweater down around him.

“Dude, yes.”

Keith picked the phone back up. “Just joking- I’m going to make sure to support you.” 

“Awww, wow. Thanks buddy. Means a lot.” There was some clattering going on in the background. “Sorry about the noise- just party prep, you know. Hey- how’s the writing going?”

Keith sat down. “You know- going.”

“What, Arizona didn’t have enough for you to write about?”

“You would think, but didn’t get hired as much. So, gonna give it a go out here.” Keith glanced around, and noticed the corner of the envelope poking over the counter.

“Well, I think you’ll get your break here. Who knows, you might end up writing about the coast for the rest of your life.”

“I seriously doubt that-”

“You never know. Living by the ocean changes a person- big time.”

“Uh huh, Mr. Always Has Been Good at Baking his whole life.”

“You’ll see, Keith. I bet you anything.” Then, there was another voice on the end of the line. “Ah, gotta go- Shay needs help. Speaking of! You should drop by tonight- Pidge has been messaging me like crazy right now saying you’d better come or else.” Hunk laughed a deep laugh. “You might also want to check your messages.”

“Ah, and so reality comes for me.”

“Ok, Keith. I’ll call you later to let you know the address!”

“Mmmm, maybe I can stop by tomorrow? I don’t know- New Year’s Eve really isn’t-”

“I’ll call you later.”

“Ok, Hunk. But nothing, and I mean nothing, will get me over there.”

“Sure thing, Keith!” Hunk’s cheerfulness radiated through the line. “Also, let me remind you- that was literally a line you used throughout high school, so, I don’t believe it one bit.”

“Hey.”

“Alright my man- good to hear your voice. I will be seeing you later.”

“Uh huh. Until next time.”

“Bye!”

Keith rolled his eyes playfully as he pulled his phone away from his ear, noticing the thread of messages from Pidge. “Oh shit.” He scrolled through them, and got halfway before Pidge’s face showed up as a call screen. He clicked on it. “Yeah?”

“Don’t yeah me, Keith. You showed up yesterday and have the gall to-”

“Pidge, please- I woke up like ten minutes ago.”

“Oh, good! You’re gonna be well-rested for tonight, then. Matt still has some small firecrackers from the 4th-”

Keith gave in, a small smile gracing his face. “That’s just like Matt. Do they even still work?” He glanced over at the envelope, again.

“We’re gonna find out or die trying. Emphasis on we, Keith. You have to show.”

“I would, but-”

“Keith, I see you searching for an excuse, but as your longtime friend, I know you have none.”

“Can I not go, on grounds of you bullying me?”

“No, cause that is simply not true.”

“Well, I’ll keep it as a backup when Hunk calls later. Pidge, I just, I’m tired. Plus, I need to set up-”

“What, with what you packed in a knapsack?”

“-and get familiar with the place. Maybe even say hi to the neighbors.” He winced a little at that.

“Ok, first of all, sounds like you’re making stuff up cause I know you don’t say hi to neighbors, Keith. And two, where are you living? Literally all you’ve told Hunk and I is that you’re “moving to Monterey” and that was it.”

Keith smiled a little. “Oh, so you think I’m gonna tell you after you’ve been mean to me?”

“Hell yes!”

“Mmmm, interesting.” Keith got to his knees, and stood up. “Very interesting.” 

“Keith, please. And I don’t mean please, as in me begging you.”

Keith made his way over to the counter, and leaned against it, arms folded against the cool surface. “That was not lost on me, Pidge.” He fiddled with his keys a little, then reached for the envelope that was sitting there. 

“Let me put it this way: if you don’t tell me, I’ll be ‘meaner’ to you.”

“Take the meaner out of air quotes, Pidge.” Keith proceeded to open the envelope, and pulled out a thin stack of papers. “And give me a minute, won’t you? I know this sounds freaky to you or whatever, but I’d like to at least unpack before you take it upon yourself to show up unannounced with some ‘gift’ you can’t possibly keep.”

“Take the gift out of air quotes, you ingrate. And that was once.”

“Thrice by my count- and that was only during Senior Year.” Keith studied the first slip of paper. A baby blue sheet with a wave crest header. In the same handwriting on the note, it read along the lines of a personal welcome from Allura. He smiled as he skimmed through. 

“Ok, but you could have been decent and not lost the lizard.”

“I’m telling you I think Kosmo got a hold of that one.” Keith flipped to the next page, to see a layout of the apartment, with notes of where things were. “I had little control over that.” He set the little map aside for later. Then, he got to the last page- a list of social events for the upcoming months. Huh.

“Sure, blame the innocent dog.”

Keith snorted a little. “You got me.”

“I can’t believe how Kosmo takes being with you 24/7.”

“He just does. Plus, he doesn’t bully me.” He flipped the events flyer over on the counter, and moved to wander some more through the apartment.

“One day he’s gonna realize.”

Keith laughed a little, then made his way into the small bathroom. “All the more reason not to let you know my location- you might talk Kosmo into bullying me, too.”

“Yeah, yeah. Well, glad to know you’re still alive. Speaking of which!”

“What?” Keith glanced at himself in the mirror, hair wild. He made a goofy face, then laughed.

“That favor-”

“Since when do I owe you a favor?”

“Doesn’t matter. Question: how comfortable are you with committing a small crime?”

“Well, looks like it’s time to end this conversation.”

“Keith-”

“See you when I can, Pidge.”

“Yeah, yeah- see you later tonight.”

“Why do people keep saying that?”

“Cause we know you’re weak. Bye!” Pidge hung up, and Keith sighed as he tucked his phone in the back of his pocket. 

He studied the cabinet space, and ducked down, only to hit his jaw unexpectedly on the sink before falling back and hitting the toilet with his back. “Jesus fucking christ.”

At that, Kosmo ran to the door, and watched Keith intently.

“Ah, thanks-”

Kosmo whimpered, then ran off. The soft thud of his pawing at the glass soon followed.

“What now?” Keith winced as he pushed himself up, careful not to hit anything. He padded out, feeling his steps as he saw Kosmo, a massive cloud of black fluff, pressed against the glass. “There’s nothing-” And then he saw it, the silhouette of a black cat sitting on the balcony ledge. Its eyes looked blank as it stared at Kosmo, and then moved its head, making eye contact with Keith.

 _It’s eyes are so blue_ , Keith thought, and the cat blinked, then stood. It went to the right, and disappeared, most likely onto the next balcony. “Huh.” Keith went over and patted Kosmo on the head, who was now sitting down. “Just a cat, Kosmo.” He ruffled his fur. “Now, let’s go get you some food.”

As Kosmo happily ate and drank from his set up bowls, Keith began unpacking. He opened all of the boxes, and began sorting through the few things he’d accumulated over the years. By the time sunset hit, the apartment was looking a little like someone sort of lived there- maybe.

Keith fed Kosmo again, and went for a walk to the grocery store just down the street. He came back, cooked some soup, made some toast, and settled in for an inside kind of night. 

Simple as that.

It was just December 31st, a day that was really nothing special. 

Keith sat down on the floor, the light of his laptop screen the only thing that really illuminated the dark room. He stayed, eyes trained on a stream of old X-files episodes. As Scully prepared to round a corner with her gun in the current episode, there was a buzzing sound. It played over and over.

Keith glanced over and felt the movement somewhere in the folds of his hoodie. He fished out his ringing phone, and saw Hunk’s name. He also noted the time: 11:45 pm, and just thought, _Huh- should go to bed soon_. He hit answer.

“Keith?”

“Speaking.”

“Oh, hey man! Glad you picked up. You should really-” There was a resounding crash on the other end. “Pidge. Pidge, please-” A faint ‘no’ could be heard in the static, and Keith smiled a little at that. “Oh, goodness. Okay, Keith. You need to come over! And who knows, you might make it for midnight, if you’re anywhere close by.”

“Oh, that’s...interesting.”

“Or you might not- that’s okay, too! But, there’s no harm in trying, right? If you do, don’t speed, though. That would be dangerous, Keith.”

“Hunk- remember what I said earlier?” Keith prompted, and his eyes flickered over to the pitch black through his slider. “Nothing.”

“Oh, right. Well, just wanted to let you know I just put a batch of red velvet cookies in the oven.”

“Hunk.” Keith’s stomach growled a little. 

“You know, your favorite. They’ll be out, nice and warm, in about twenty minutes.” 

“Hunk, please. I’m already...” Keith looked at the clothes he’d been wearing for the past 30+ hours. “I’m cozy.”

“Keith, please! I’m sure you’d much rather start the new year enjoying your favorite cookies, fresh. Plus, Pidge is threatening something drastic if you don’t show.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Yeah, well, you tell them-”

“Tell them yourself?”

Keith laughed a little. “Fine. You got me.”

“I’ll text you the address.” A faint ‘weak!’ could be heard in the background, and Keith silently vowed to get Pidge for that. “ Be safe! And see you soon.”

“Bye.” Keith pocketed his phone and went and grabbed his shoes, nearly tripping on the few unpacked boxes near the door. He watched them, all those memories, for a moment. After a few seconds, he grabbed his keys and wallet off the counter, tucking them into his hoodie pocket.

He switched off the light, and the sounds of opening and closing of the front door got lost as he glanced over, the sound of someone crying filling the hall the most, amidst muffled music and chatter behind closed doors.

And, at the foot of the door next to him sat the neighbor he hadn’t met yet, knees pulled to his chest, head tucked in. 

Keith moved with caution to put his key in his doorknob, and as he did, the guy raised his head. 

They made eye contact, and Keith took it all in. Short, ruffled brown hair, watery blues leading to streaks down a tan face. A kiss mark on one of his cheeks. He wanted so badly to hiss a solidarity hiss under his breath, but then he realized he knew that face. 

_Years ago_.

“Sorry...for- for sitting out here-” The guy wiped tears from under his eyes, and then waved Keith off. “Don’t mind me.”

 _It couldn’t be_. 

Keith took his hand off of his keys, and took a deep breath. “Lance?”

The guy froze, then looked back over. “Do I know you?”

Keith swallowed that disappointment and blinked. “Lance...McClain?” He spoke softly, feeling a little lightheaded.

“Um, did Allura tell you my name, neighbor, or-”

 _The man, the man from the hall_ , Keith’s brain screamed, as he staved off the flood of embarrassment coming to get him- that would have to wait.

“Lance, it’s me.” Keith squeezed his keys once. “Keith.”

Lance just looked at him. “Keith.”

“Altea Elementary, 6th grade. We sat next to each other in Language Arts and…”

“...I think you had shorter hair then.” A smile tugged at the corner of Lance’s mouth. “God, that was...years ago.” 

“Years ago,” Keith repeated, and he reached up unconsciously to touch his hair. He felt a flush crawl up his spine. “We were...friends.”

“You moved, didn’t you?” Lance rested his folded arms atop his knees.

“Right.” Keith felt his stomach sink. “Right.” He turned to retrieve his keys, and held them tight as he hit them against his thigh a few times. “Anyway-”

“Please, supposed man who used to be my friend. Don’t let me and my tears stop you from your New Year’s Eve plans, looking like you’re gonna go to sleep.” Lance jokingly showed Keith the way to the stairs with a sweep of his arm.

 _Used to_. Keith pocketed his keys, ignoring the swimming sensation in his stomach, and slowly took a step towards. He took a deep breath, and took another step. “Well, do you want to...talk about it, then?”

“What?”

“You know. Why you’re crying outside your door.”

Lance put on a smile, a rather beautiful one. He looked as if he were about to say something, but looked away real fast. 

Keith squeezed his own arm a little. “Or maybe not.” He backed up, and put his weight on his door and slid down onto the floor. He took a breath. “We could just stay here, too. Or I could leave, and you go back inside, so at least-”

“My girlfriend dumped me.” 

“Ah, sorry about that.” Keith started threading his fingers, something to ignore the fact that Lance had had a recent partner. “That’s really-”

“Who does that?” Lance raised a questioning hand. “On New Years Eve, of all times? That just, it feels like I was the one thing in her way on to a- a fresh start.”

Keith glanced over to see that Lance was now looking towards the ceiling, side profile outlining a nice jaw- stop that. He blinked a few times, then made an empathetic “mmm” sound.

“Just, what even?” Lance ran a hand through his hair, and left it there as he looked over. He laughed, then cast a quick glance down, as if gesturing to the kiss left in a magenta color. “Quite the parting gift, huh?” He grabbed at his hair, and hit his head back on his door. “Fuck me.”

“Well, at least the color suits you. If...anything.” Keith immediately told himself to shut up, to not joke about-

Lance twisted his neck as he looked over. “That’s oddly...nice. Did have to pass a lot of people, so, glad to at least know I still look good.” He smiled, less tense, and he removed his hand from his hair. 

“Sorry- that wasn’t appropriate.” Keith went back to fiddling with his keys in his pocket, then gripped them tight. He could hear the pounding of his heart ramp in volume. 

“Honestly? It’s welcome.” Lance proceeded to loosen his tie. “At least the official start of the year is starting to look up a little, thanks to...you, Keith, whom I haven’t seen for ten some years or so.”

Keith startled a little, partly from his brain frying upon realizing Lance was wearing a full on suit. “Yeah, just about.”

“Strange. Heard from Allura that a new tenant was moving in next door, and I came to say hi yesterday, but you must’ve been asleep.”

“Oh, I’m-”

“No need to apologize.” Lance waved it off, and turned his head so he was looking directly at Keith. “So, we used to know each other.”

Keith felt his heart doing all kinds of flips and tricks. _Stop it_ , he thought. “Oh, yeah. I was the new kid for a couple grades, and then just kind of...moved.”

“Huh. And now here you are.” Lance smiled briefly, then looked down. His shoulders slumped slightly, then he looked over again. “Hey, as neat as this is, do you mind if I just…” He covered his face with his hands.

“If you need to be left alone, I get it-”

Lance lifted his head out of his hands. “Just the opposite.” He tried smiling, but couldn’t. “I, uh, am usually not- I just, wouldn’t mind a stranger to keep me company, you know?”

 _Stranger_.

“-so, if you want, come watch me drown in my sorrows. But, you also looked like you were going somewhere. So, don’t let me-”

 _Say yes, you are going somewhere. Say yes, say_ \- “No. I mean, it seems like you could use me more right now.” Keith warmed a little at that. “Sorry, that didn’t-”

“Didn’t take it any way.” Lance pushed himself to a squat, and stood up. He reached into his jacket pocket and dug around, only to have something drop from his pocket. It clattered to the floor and seconds later, cheering from apartments could be heard.

“Here, let me-” Keith got to his knees and reached over, pausing as his brain registered that his fingers were touching a black velvet box. He gently picked it up, and looked at Lance, who smiled a pained smile before extending his hand. Without a word, Keith immediately got to his feet, and practically slammed the box into Lance’s hand. 

His entire body felt like it was on fire. 

“Thanks.” Lance held onto the box as he fished into his jacket pocket to pull out his keys. 

The rustling of keys filled the silence as Keith felt the warmth of his face. _Please don’t, not-_

“Coming?” Lance asked, already inside.

And from the back, Keith saw the man from the other night, except shoulders more fallen.

He swallowed.

“Coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all! thanks so much for the 100 hits, and the kudos and the comments! it means a lot yall are here for this- hope you enjoyed this chapter and i hope i can update as soon as i can (animal crossing really gets you). stay safe, and keep on keeping home if you are able to do so!
> 
> find me:  
> twitter: _staysharp_  
> tumblr: bluethisisforyou


	4. we're reeling through the midnight streets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You heard it right. I’m the man who makes people’s dreams come true.” Lance withdrew his hand from the stack and took another drink, then laughed, bitter. “So you can imagine the irony of this all.” He twirled the bottle a little, then noticed Keith. “My bad, did you want any?”
> 
> “I’m okay,” Keith held out a hand, and shook his head. “I’m good.”
> 
> “More for me.” Lance shrugged, then set the bottle back down between his thighs. He proceeded to prop his face on his hands. “More for me,” he repeated, almost wistful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from lorde's "ribs"

_This is a bad idea_ , Keith thought, as soon as he saw how lived-in Lance’s apartment was. 

A coffee table sat in front of a couch, fresh roses in a sort of clumsy looking clay vase on it. Surrounding the vase were a few wedding magazines, open, inappropriately glossy. 

Keith winced. His stomach did a flip as he looked away, then mistakenly caught sight of the living room bookcase. Several framed pictures sat there, a testament to life on the verge of domestic. He didn’t look too hard, and desperately searched for something else. _Find something, find_ -

The sound of the fridge shut. Lance came back into view, holding an open bottle of champagne. “Sit wherever,” he gestured loosely, as he walked over to the couch and took a seat. He stilled as he saw the magazines before him. 

_This isn’t right_ , Keith thought. “I should-”

“She didn’t know.” Lance set the bottle between his thighs as he closed the magazines with a gentle touch, stacking them at a painful rate afterwards. “These are always around.”

“Oh,” Keith managed, realizing it was too late to declare his intent to exit. “I see.” He took a quiet breath, and made his way over to the floor on the other side of the table, taking a seat. He intertwined his fingers, and squeezed, weighing the odds of if he should even speak at all. After hearing Lance attend back to the bottle, he blurted, “Well, at least she must have been thinking about it- with those magazines, and all. Maybe the timing just wasn’t right.”

Lance laughed. “Didn’t even get to the question.” He took a drink, and looked over with a slightly amused smile. “These are mine, by the way.” He placed a hand on them, fingers splayed on the cover of the top one. “All mine.” 

Keith felt his cheeks flare. “I am so-”

“It’s the usual assumption, unless people know what I do before they come in here.” Lance shrugged. “I could see how you might think they were...hers.”

“Still-” Keith pressed his fingertips to his brow as he stared at the floor, too embarrassed to formulate a sentence. “Ah.”

“I’m a wedding planner, in case you were wondering,” Lance supplied. “A good ol’ wedding planner.”

Keith withdrew his hand, and looked over at Lance. “A wedding planner?”  
  
“You heard it right. I’m the man who makes people’s dreams come true.” Lance withdrew his hand from the stack and took another drink, then laughed, bitter. “So you can imagine the irony of this all.” He twirled the bottle a little, then noticed Keith. “My bad, did you want any?”

“I’m okay,” Keith held out a hand, and shook his head. “I’m good.”

“More for me.” Lance shrugged, then set the bottle back down between his thighs. He proceeded to prop his face on his hands. “More for me,” he repeated, almost wistful.

Keith’s head, meanwhile, was spinning. He cast his gaze elsewhere, for fear of being too intrusive, only to find an old wedding portrait hanging above Lance. It was in color, but depicting a less than serious couple as they pressed caked into one another’s face, joy radiating from the both of them- it was something one was unable to look away from. 

“Ah, you’re looking at the photo, aren’t you?” 

Keith snapped out of it to see Lance looking back at it, then back at him. “I just- I think it’s a nice picture.”

“Thanks. It’s one of my parents.”

And Keith froze, wondering if they ever knew he existed, this boy who only stuck around for a year. _He doesn’t even remember you that much_ , Keith thought. _Knock it off_. 

“Or as I like to think of them, the original couple goals.” Lance smiled a little at that, and Keith was glad to have something else to look at besides the odd dark here and there past the end table’s lamp. “33 years and counting.”

“That’s- that’s great.”

A considerable silence dropped over them, like a weighted blanket. 

Keith rubbed the inside of his arm, and turned to look, but he just couldn’t do it. As he made up his mind to really go, really leave, he shifted ever so slightly. 

A sobbing cut through the air, and Lance had his head in his hands.

Keith froze, then got to his feet slowly, as though he was getting up in front of a deer. He cleared his throat gently, then a little harder. “I should leave, so you-”

“I don’t understand, we’ve been together for- for two years and-” Lance wiped the tears away, then stared out ahead of him. “I don’t get it. I mean,” he made eye contact with Keith, “we lived together.”

Keith could only nod.  
  
“We-” Lance rubbed his eyes again.

“Maybe...the timing just wasn’t right. I mean, maybe-”

“Maybe, and maybe it just hurts.” Lance looked over, worse for wear. 

“Yeah, it hurts,” Keith affirmed, and suddenly, he didn’t feel like running. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” Lance proceeded to bury his face in his hands, and took some cry-induced inhalations.

He stayed like that, and Keith, without even thinking, walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t deserve this,” he managed, and he gave a little push down before beginning to draw his hand away.

Wordless, Lance removed one of his hands and placed it over Keith’s, holding him there. He breathed in a deep breath, then another.

Meanwhile, Keith felt his vision go blurry. He looked down, burning the image into his brain. _Lance, Lance’s hand_ \- He felt nauseous as he dragged himself back down to reality. _It’s cause you just happened to be here_ , he thought, and he watched as Lance patted his hand, then moved away. 

“Sorry about that. It’s just, it felt nice- human touch.” Lance didn’t look back.

Keith took his hand back, and he stuck both his hands in his jacket. “Sure.”

“Ah, god- what a night.” Lance sighed. “What a fresh start, huh?”

Keith finally found it in himself to look back at Lance, and melting at the sight of the clear brokenness in Lance’s eyes as he looked back at him. “Not the greatest,” he managed. 

“Pretty sure if there was a contest, I’d rank in terms of sadness.” Lance rubbed a hand against the side of his face. “But, it’s all just- I don’t know, you know. I just was so ready for that next step.” He looked over at Keith, again. “You know, to love someone enough to say you’d be more than okay with that someone loving you forever.”

“Yeah.” Keith tasted those words not meant from him in his head, and they dissolved like sugar. Sweet, but crystal clear. He tried not to make eye contact as he wracked his brain for something to say, squeezing his keys as he looked off at the row of pictures on the bookcase. “Yeah, I, uh, my brother, whenever I was sad, used to tell me to just feel what you’re feeling, you know? That’s the best thing you can do for yourself right now. Maybe even get some sleep, which won’t be easy, but-” Keith glanced over, cutting off as he saw Lance staring at him. “Sorry, if that was unsolicited.”

“Your brother’s right. You’re...right.” Lance attempted a smile. “I should, uh, just crawl into bed and..feel.” He set the bottle on the table, looked at it, then stood up. “If you don’t mind-”

“Yeah, I should get-” _Hunk and Pidge_. Keith winced.

“Leave a partner hanging?”

Keith shook his head. “No, just friends. People I haven’t seen in a good while.” He nodded, then squeezed his keys again. “Anyways, I should- hope you get some sleep.”

“Thanks- you too.” Lance nodded.

“Ok, yeah.” Keith pointed to the door, then quickly jerked his arm back to his side. “Yeah.” He turned, and opened the door, and closed it behind him. He let his hand linger on the doorknob, and then he let go.

Without a second thought, he turned tail into his apartment, where Kosmo greeted him once he was back inside. As soon as the door was closed, he rested his back against it and slid down it, bringing his knees to his chest. He rested his head into bent arms, and felt like screaming, but didn’t. 

_Just feel it_ , he thought, _and then it’ll be okay_.

Kosmo laid down next to him, and Keith eventually put out a hand and stroked without looking. He tried to talk his alarmed heart out of what had happened, and the fact he knew his neighbor and that Keith knew him more and-

There was a buzzing, and Keith took a breath before surfacing. It was Hunk.

He watched it play, then the call attempt ended.

Not today. 

_Not now_.

He did himself a favor and put his phone on silent, and slid it away from him. As he sat in the light from the kitchen, he felt it. 

All of it. 

“It’s-” _Not a dream, don’t lie_.

“It’s very much real,” he whispered, and held on tight.

After a bit, he loosened his grip on his arms, and took the deepest breath he’d ever taken. He rested his head against the back of the door, and even though he was trying to not feel it, he could still feel the ghost of Lance’s touch on the back of his hand.

He began tracing the back of that hand with his fingers, slowly building into a faster rub. Pretty soon, all he could feel was the heat from his own body. He relaxed, and squeezed his hand. “What are you-” He said softly, moving his hands to his side, when he felt his left hand hit something kind of sharp. “Jesus, ow-” He ignored the burning, and slowly put his hand back, feeling the cool of cardboard. “Oh.”

He turned on his phone flashlight and set it on the floor so it illuminated around him as he brought the box to his lap, and he placed his fingers on top. His heart thrummed as he began to inch the tape apart, severing what kept the box closed.

Once it was severed completely, he placed both his hands on top, feeling the cardboard with his thumbs. He felt a little sick as he opened the box, everything washing over him as he took in all the journals, and anything else he could’ve ever written on. He knew the bottom of the box would not be ideal right now, so he picked up a napkin, and read a little poem he’d written, god, well in high school. He read it once, twice, and allowed himself a little smile. 

He unburied his past, getting more and more lost. Some poetry, even song lyrics, and actual journal entries here and there. The more he did it, the more he let nostalgia take him. And he kept going, and going, and-

He took out the last thing in the box, a faded, scruffed journal. He held it in both hands, and took a deep breath before skipping to the part he knew by heart.

Hi, whoever’s reading this. I, can I like boys? Cause, I have this really nice friend, Lance, at school and- he said he’s my friend, but I...like him, like...how you’re supposed to like a girl. Is that- is that something I can do? 

Keith slammed the journal shut, and placed it back in the box. He shut the box, and pushed it away, the other keepsakes in a pile on the floor. “Bad idea,” he muttered, as he felt his chest grow tight, and the feeling built up and up and-

His face was wet.

He took a couple breaths before calling Shiro, and only used what rationale he had left to open a voicemail. 

“Shiro, I- I think, moving here. It, um, was not the best idea. He’s- My neighbor is- I don’t know what to do, Shiro. I-can’t,” he admitted, and stopped there. 

Shaking, he ended the voicemail, and through blurry eyes, he strained to look at the time.

3:01am

“Oh, fuck,” he said, softly. 

Oh, fuck.

When Keith woke up, he saw the journals and the remnants of his past life near him. His face was smashed to the floor, and black paws soon entered his vision. He groaned, and sat up, feeling his back, again, bite. 

He needed to buy a mattress, or something else. 

He rubbed his face, and stared at his surroundings. He’d barely moved from the door. “Good god.” He moved to his knees, and looked around for his phone. Once his fingertips made purchase, he clicked it, to see that it was 11. Well, better than yesterday.

He also saw several messages from Pidge and Hunk, and on top of that, three missed calls from Shiro, and one voicemail. Keith stared at that, long and hard, and the night before leaked back into his brain. Shit.

He clicked his phone off, and got to his feet. He gave Kosmo some food, and started to fish some food out for himself when there was a knock on his door. At that, he threw the box of cereal in his hand, causing it to fly over the counter and hit the floor. He grimaced, and there was another knock.

Without thinking, he walked over and opened the door.

“Hi.” 

Standing there, like he hadn’t been so broken the night before, was Lance McClain: fresh and bright, in different clothes- clean, ready for the new year, if one didn’t know about the night before.

 _Shit, shit, shit_ -

“I, uh, wanted to apologize for last night- for making you stay with me,” Lance laughed a little, and he raised the box he had in his arms a little higher. “So, I made you some bread.”

“You made me some bread,” Keith repeated, more for himself, as he tried to cement a lot of details about Lance all at once. “Bread.”

“I bake here and there, and it seemed like a...distraction.” Lance smiled, and faltered. “Yeah.” He pushed the box forward a little. “Hope you like rosemary.”

“Bread,” Keith repeated, then inwardly grimaced. “I’m sorry, I just woke up a few minutes ago and I- I am processing this.” _Jesus, can you_ -

“No worries. It’s nice that you’re honest.” Lance smiled, and pushed the box more.

Keith took the hint. He reached out, unthinking, as his fingers brushed Lance’s, only barely. He did his best not to jerk back as he brought the box close to his body. “Thank you,” he managed, feeling the buzzing from a barely there touch. “Thank you.”

It was then that Kosmo came to the door, sitting next to Keith. He stared up, and then looked at Lance.

“Oh, is this your dog?” Lance squatted and held out his hand.

“Ah, yeah. His name is Kosmo, he’s not much of a-”

Kosmo came forward, and sniffed, and then licked Lance’s hand.

“-people person,” Keith finished.

“Ah, he’s beautiful.” Lance caressed the side of Kosmo’s face, and gave him some scratches. “I think I heard him the other night- seems like he was saying hello. Weren’t you, boy?”

Kosmo’s tail wagged, as he pressed his head into Lance’s head.

Keith could only watch, and feel something bloom, again, in his chest.

“Well, Kosmo, I’ll let you be now,” Lance held his face with both hands, gave one final ruffle of fur, and stood. “And, I should let your owner be, too. Thank you, again.” Lance smiled, and stuck his hands in his jeans pockets. “Hope you like the bread.” He nodded, once, and removed a hand to give a little wave. “I’ll leave you be.” He smiled briefly, once more, then exited from view.

If Keith had not had that box of bread in his hands, he would’ve stepped out a little to see Lance go, but-

 _It’s not like that_ , he thought, as he closed the door. Still, he couldn’t stop smiling. He felt Kosmo brush past him, sniffing the air. He looked down at him. “Are you secretly a people person?”

Kosmo just looked at him, then sneezed.

“Ok, you get out of that question- this time.” He set the box down, and opened it and there it was: an actual round loaf of fresh, home-baked bread. “Bread,” Keith affirmed, and smelled the air. “Look, boy- bread.” He lowered the box for Kosmo, who wagged his tail. “Bread.”

Bread.

Keith set the box down, and steered himself to the bathroom to look in the mirror.

“It’s just an apology gift.” He looked into his eyes, and pointed at his reflection. “Just that.”

Still, bread. 

There was a stir of butterflies, but Keith kept them at bay as he went back and covered the bread.

He couldn’t just eat it- save it for dinner, maybe, cook something nice-

Nice?

“It’s just bread,” he repeated as he went to change his clothes.

He kept repeating it as he walked down the aisles of the convenience store, and he was unable to purchase anything other than ingredients to make spaghetti. As he held the bag in his hand, he thought about how it had a nice ring to it: spaghetti. His stomach growled at the thought, and he kept a steady pace as he made his way back. 

As he entered the building, he saw Allura unlocking her door. She paused, and must have seen Keith out of the corner of her eye, because she stopped. She raised her head, a bright smile on her face. “Hello there, Keith!”

“Hi.” He gave a little wave with his bag hand. 

“Now, I know it’s only day two, really, but how are you liking the apartment so far?”

“It’s nice. Still have a bit to unpack”- _lie_ \- “and get a couple more things.”

“Ah, furnishings,” she nodded, knowingly. She took her hand off the door, and pointed up at the ceiling. “Have you met your neighbors, Lance and Marina?”

Keith swallowed. “I met Lance.” _Again_ , his brain supplied.

“Ah- hope he hasn’t given you any trouble. That man can be a lot.” She smiled, fond. “And I’m sure you’ll love Marina- she’s rather shy, but she warms up eventually. Although, like Lance, she is a bit of a handful.”

Marina. 

The girlfriend-ex. 

Keith repeated Allura’s comment in his head. _**Was** a bit of a handful_, Keith corrected. “Oh, good to know.”

“They’re a very sweet pair.”

“Cool,” Keith offered. “Good for them.”

“Well, glad to hear Lance hasn’t done anything- yet. Anyhow, I should let you get on back, seeing as you’re probably very hungry.” She smiled, then put a hand on her doorknob. “Now, remember- any questions-”

“Ask you,” Keith finished, a little bit pleased at how good that felt.

Allura gave him a thumbs up. “You got it.”

He walked past, and made his way up the stairs. As he fiddled to retrieve his keys, he took a look at Lance’s door. 

A good, long look. 

The door looked just like his, the same shade of brown. And then, he took a step back and looked at the two doors next to one another.

The scene of the night before.

 _God_.

Keith took a step, and went inside his apartment. He set the bag of ingredients down, and got to boiling some water for the pasta. As he waited, he felt distracted by the bread- how does one even go about this? 

When the water was boiling furiously, he realized he’d been zoning on the bread the entire time. _Not a big deal_ , he thought as he put his pasta in and soon enough, he was ready to dig into the bread. He held a slice, squeezing it a little, hearing it crackle wonderfully. 

He took a bite.

“He knows how to make bread,” Keith affirmed, to himself, and took another bite- a big one. He noticed Kosmo looking at him out of the corner of his eye as he chewed for what felt like forever. “Hey, don’t look at me like that.”

When he was done, he set the plate in the sink and marched himself out the door to say thank you, properly. _I mean_ , he thought, _I can’t not_ \- and he found himself, fist raised to knock, as he stood outside Lance’s door.

Lance’s door.

Lance’s and Marina’s-

He lowered it, and went back inside, closing the door behind him.

It was then that his phone buzzed, and he fished it out: Adam.

 _Huh_. He clicked on it.

“So, you pick up for Adam and not for me?”

The voicemails. Shit. “Ah, yeah.”

“Yes, you pick up for Adam?”

“That is not what I meant, and you know it.” Keith prepared to say something else, but was beaten to the punch.

“Keith. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Okay?

He looked at the bread out of the corner of his eye, feeling overall content at the consumption of a good meal. His eyes glanced over to the wall, and lingered.

Okay. Okay?

“Keith.”

“I think...I think…”

“Uh huh,” Shiro affirmed.

“I think I am okay, for now. I just,” he took a seat, “had a weird night.”

“Well, that’s a start. Would you care to elaborate?”

Oh, well, I ran into the very brief childhood friend who made me realize I was gay and guess what! He’s my literal only neighbor, and he made me bread because I attempted to rideout his breakup with him, while he looked wildly attractive, and in the process, realized he’s a wedding planner, which is a thing that affects me but is a whole other topic we won’t touch. Oh, and I also kind of unknowingly mock proposed to him and totally forgot to meet my friends. Oh, and did I mention he’s attractive? And that he’s a wedding planner and has a broken- “My neighbor, he’s uh, someone I knew back in middle school.”

“Oh, Keith! That’s wonderful news- a familiar face- bet it was just a little awkward.”

Only a little. “He was kind of in post-breakup mode.” Crying, in front of his door.

“I imagine that wasn’t the best reunion then.”

“Not quite.” Keith took a deep breath. “He, uh, also might have beenmyfirstcrush.”

“Keith, I didn’t quite catch that. What did you say?”

“Nothing you need to know.”

“Oh, let me take a guess,” Adam chimed in, and Keith froze.

“Shiro, are you on speaker?”

“Adam was worried, too.”

“Shiro-”

“Hon, he said his neighbor was his first crush. I should know, I had to deal with your brother’s mumbling at first-” Adam’s laugh rang out as Shiro said something incoherent.

“Enough. Anyways, Keith, is this true?”

“Shiro,” Keith felt his skin warm a little, and he pressed a hand to his forehead. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Gonna change the subject now- how’s the nursery going?”

“We can change it, for now. Oh, you know, ordering new seeds and buying dirt. Growing here and there! I’m excited for this season- we got some new…”

Keith felt his shoulders relax, and he smiled as he listened. 

“...Be sure to send me your address so I can send you supplies and seeds. This is going to be the year I get you to grow something, mark my words.”

“It better not be, Keith! I wagered against Shiro, and I need to know I have your support- hey. Hey.” There was a pause, and Keith could only imagine the two of them staring at the other like in some kind of western showdown. There was some rustling, and the sound of a door closing.

“Ignore him, he’s still on that New Years kick.” Shiro spoke first, but fondly, and Keith could tell it was with a smile. “Anyways, you should tell me if you’d like any specific seeds- of course, provided they are in season.”

“Oh, well, there goes my plan of being unreasonable.”

“You and I both know that never goes anywhere.”

“Don’t lie about me like that in front of your boyfriend.”

“He’s out of earshot.” Shiro laughed. “You sound a little better, at least.”

Keith softened. “Maybe, yeah.”

“I know it must be weird.”

“It is.”

“Just give it some time- and who knows,” there’s the sound of muffled music on the other end, “you two might just get along. Like, as in-”

“I know Adam’s waiting for you outside so please go get along with him and leave me out of it.”

“You’re lucky you’re my brother.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you, too.”

“Good to hear you’re alive.” There was a pause. “Don’t let cold feet get the best of you.”

“What does that even-” _Cold feet. Wedding. Wedding Planner. Lance_ \- Keith’s mind raced. _Wait, no_.

“Try the area out for a while, will you?”

He felt his panicking slow down a little. “You and Hunk say the same thing.”

“Wise man. Say hi to him for me, will you?”

“Will do.”

“Ok, Keith. I gotta go now. Talk to you soon. I love you.”

“Love you. Bye.”

And the apartment was quiet all over again.

Keith inhaled.

Exhaled.

Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank so much for waiting a couple weeks! i ran into some writer's block/not sure how to create during these funky times- they're very stress-inducing. but, i felt a burst of energy and ta-dah. (also, the bread thing may or may not have been subconsciously influenced by everyone baking right now. but, you know- bread.)
> 
> always feel free to come talk to me! things are crazy, and if you're enjoying so far, let me know? would love some feedback here and there and yes, things will pick up in 2-3 chapters! (i am ready for it, too)
> 
> tumblr: bluethisisforyou  
> twitter: _staysharp_


	5. it's not what you expected (and you're left wanting more)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t even understand the point of asking for recommendations to ignore them and get boring old coffee,” Pidge commented, pulling their drink close. 
> 
> Keith shook the sugar packet to get the sugar to one side. “What can I say? It’s always good to know your options to confirm your choice is usually best.”
> 
> “You mean safe,” Pidge muttered.
> 
> “People are allowed to like what they like,” Hunk offered, and took a drink. 
> 
> “Yeah,” Keith echoed, childishly. “What he said.” He reached for the tray of creams.
> 
> “Whatever. Moving on-” Pidge snatched the tray and pulled it toward them.
> 
> “Hey-”
> 
> “Why the hell didn’t you show up for New Years a few days ago, Keith? Hmmm?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from ashe's "cold in california"
> 
> ~
> 
> me, a few days ago: i think i tricked myself into writing a slow burn  
> me: …
> 
> so! it has been a month since i've started this story, yet to be defined as a slow burn, and to be perfectly honest, a lot of this is groundwork! but we will definitely see the ball begin to roll towards the end of this chapter and then the next one, a bit more. thank you to all of you who are keeping up with updates and can't wait to see what you think! 
> 
> here's 5.4k!

It was a beautiful Thursday, even though it was cold. 

Keith put on his warmest hoodie (perhaps his only one), and made sure he had everything before he left for downtown Monterey. Driving in the daylight had been new, as the town was slow and drifting as he drove through the small building-lined streets. After a bit, he’d arrived at the cafe Pidge had sent absolutely zero directions to.

 **Tomorrow at 10. Look it up** was all they’d supplied the night before.

Keith muttered, but had closed his laptop anyway, and secretly, was grateful to have an excuse not to look for work. 

He wandered inside the cafe. Mostly white themed, the air was warm with the overpowering scent of coffee. But, it was welcome. 

He looked around, and made his way over to an open table, seeing as neither Hunk nor Pidge were nowhere to be seen. He took a seat, and looked out at the street outside. Families walked by with strollers, their children bundled, and other couples holding hands all passed by, with an ease of purpose in their step.

 _Purpose_ , Keith thought, and began to look back around the cafe.

It was then that two hands slammed onto his shoulders, and he writhed, kicking the chair next to him. It made an insanely loud sound that no doubt caused everyone to look over. 

“Well, well, well- guess you found the place.”

The memory of the sound of metal chair legs dancing against the floor continued to ring in Keith’s ears as he watched Pidge lean over into his vision. “You.”

“Pidge, please. It’s too early for this.” Hunk walked over next to Pidge, an actual sight for sore eyes. He sighed, then looked at Keith. A smile bloomed on his face. “Hey there- long time no see.”

 _So long_ , Keith thought, then shook Pidge off of him. He eased into a smile as he looked at Hunk. “I’ve missed you, too. I’m so sorry I-”

“We accept your apology.” Pidge walked off, and sat across from Keith. They propped their elbows on the table, and rested their chin on their hands. “It’s tremendously late, though.”

Keith rolled his eyes, and stood. 

Hunk opened his arms wide, and they hugged.

Keith felt his body ease as he was held, and he squeezed before he let go. “God, it’s been too long.”

“Too long, indeed.” Hunk nodded. “Can definitely see it in your hair.”

“Hey,” Keith touched it before he took his seat, smiling. “You can’t talk about me like lest we forget about your high school mane.”

“Hate to confirm any sort of point Keith rarely has, but yes. I’m afraid he’s right.” Pidge watched as Hunk sat next to them. “That was like horse hair.”

“You two sure warm up fast,” Hunk jokingly eyed the both of them before he took his seat. “Give a man some space, please.”

Keith smiled, and it felt just like the past, them sitting a table apart, always, whenever possible. Be it lunch, lab experiments, or in class in the form of passing notes. He took it in, and relaxed his body against his chair back.

“What are you smiling at, weirdo?” Pidge rested their arm on the table. 

“It hasn’t been long enough since I’ve seen you,” Keith said simply, and looked back at the menu upfront before looking back. “So, got any recommendations?”

Pidge sat there, a pained smile on their face. “Oh, so you think you’re getting my help?”

“I usually get the lattes, and of course, a pastry. They have a good banana bread, and croissant, and-” Hunk began ticking the goods off on his fingers. “-and teas! Really, there’s a lot. Good variety, if I do say so.”

“Traitor,” Pidge offered, and they stood. 

“Thanks, Hunk.”

“Sure thing.”

They all moved to stand in line, with Pidge threatening to flat tire every other minute and Keith rolling his eyes, but glancing back anyway. Once they placed their orders, they took their seats once more, and all kind of stared at each other for a hot second.

“It’s been a while,” came from Pidge, unexpectedly.

Keith sat back a little in surprise. “It has.” 

“Don’t look so surprised. I have feelings, you know.”

“Oh, I know. It’s just nice to witness them, is all.”

Pidge huffed, but a small smile tugged at their lips. “So, the writer has come to join the rest of us creatives out here.”

“For the meantime, sure.” Keith reached for a few sugar packets pre-emptively. “So, how’s the photography business going anyway?”

Pidge beamed. “Actually? It’s sort of ridiculous. Clientele is somehow always plentiful, and there’s a plethora of wilderness out here.” They leaned forward, and set their hands against the table. “I actually have an exhibition coming up in a few weeks.”

Keith felt warm at that. “Oh, Pidge-”

“Don’t get all mushy on me, lone ranger. But yes, it’s a big deal.” They pushed their glasses up the bridge of their nose. “It’s going to be an accumulation of photos from living here, and what it means to live here, to me, anyways. And, you know, can’t wait to see whatever interpretations people come up with.”

“Careful- that sounds kind of sappy, Pidge.” Keith rested his chin in his hand, and smiled.

Pidge made a distinct face.

“Pidge has really taken to this place, haven’t you?” Hunk prompted, and he looked over at Keith. “They’ve really explored all over. Literally, like,” he held up a palm, “all over, and they’ve been here half the time I have. Yet they know this place better than I do.”

“You only say that, but we both know it’s cause you put in crazy hours at your own business.” Pidge folded their arms on the table. “This dude could close early and make enough, but he just won’t.” 

“What can I say? Happy to bake, always.” Hunk grinned.

Keith smiled. “Haven’t changed a bit, huh?”

“Ugh,” Pidge rolled their eyes. “Anyway, yes I know more than this guy, and you know, in general as well.”

“Huh. Ignoring that very last thing, I think I might have to get you to show me some spots- you know, for my writing.”

“Suddenly, I don’t know.” Pidge looked off, then looked back at him. “I can’t read.”

“Love you, too,” Keith laughed a little, and began fiddling with one of the packets of sugar. “I’ll remember that when you need to know something about Arizona.”

“Oh, man, I’ll be _sure_ to let you know when that happens,” Pidge said with the most severe lilt, and raised both eyebrows as they nodded. “ _Sure thing_.”

Keith snorted, and it was then that the coffee shop employee came by with their order: a latte with a croissant, a cappuccino, and a black coffee. 

“I don’t even understand the point of asking for recommendations to ignore them and get boring old coffee,” Pidge commented, pulling their drink close. 

Keith shook the sugar packet to get the sugar to one side. “What can I say? It’s always good to know your options to confirm your choice is usually best.”

“You mean safe,” Pidge muttered.

“People are allowed to like what they like,” Hunk offered, and took a drink. 

“Yeah,” Keith echoed, childishly. “What he said.” He reached for the tray of creams.

“Whatever. Moving on-” Pidge snatched the tray and pulled it toward them.

“Hey-”

“Why the hell didn’t you show up for New Years a few days ago, Keith? Hmmm?”

“If I answer, will I get the creams?”

“More like if your answer is satisfactory.”

“Hunk, can you-”

“Actually, Keith, I wouldn’t mind knowing, either.” Hunk shrugged slightly, and broke off a piece of his croissant.

Keith bit his lower lip, then placed both hands around his cup for some sort of support. He stroked one side with his pointer finger, feeling the coffee’s heat close to his hands. “Well, I kind of...uh, ended up meeting my neighbor.” _Old childhood friend, now stranger. Minor detail._

“And? Is that it?” Pidge cocked their head to the side. “Well, say goodbye to cream privilege, then.”

“I mean? It kind of was it. The interaction itself wasn’t that special- I mean, it seemed like he was having a rough night, so I ended up...staying with him.” 

“A rough night?” Hunk prompted.

Keith sighed. “He was going through a breakup. Something about it happening before he got the chance to propose.”

As Keith glanced down at his coffee, he heard something rattle. He looked up to see Hunk and Pidge both look at him rather quickly. They raised their eyebrows, and Keith looked at the both of them. “Is something the matter?”

“You helped your neighbor through...a breakup- on New Year’s Eve.” Pidge squeezed the cream bowl a smidge tighter. “And he was gonna...pop the question.” They glanced over at Hunk, and blinked several times in a row.

Hunk glanced back over, and shook his head ever so slightly.

“Why are you both looking at each other?”

Pidge made eye contact with Keith. “We aren’t.”

“You literally just-”

“I’m looking at you, Keith. You’re seeing things.”

Keith sighed, and didn’t bother. “Yeah, and so, as a result of that, I just kind of, you know, forgot about...New Years in general. Sorry about that.”

Hunk waved his hand. “It’s really okay- glad you were able to help this guy out.”

“Yeah, totally not forgiving you, but hope that guy felt much better after you stayed.” Pidge threw out, and prickled after there was a soft thud nearby. They threw a dirty look at Hunk, who merely took a sip.

“I guess. I mean, he did bake me bread the next day, if that’s anything?”

Pidge glanced over at Hunk, and then back at Keith. “Oh, really? He _bakes_?” 

Keith debated whether or not he was hearing things, or if Pidge’s voice really had just gone up in pitch. “Uh huh, and it was...unexpected. But, it was nice.” He smiled a small smile, and then snapped out of it, remembering where he was. “Yeah, so. That’s my answer.”

“Well, again, it’s good to know you were doing something for someone, rather than just forgetting,” Hunk threw in. “Although, gotta say, you missed a damn good batch of red velvet.”

Pidge intertwined their fingers and placed them in front of them as they nodded. “Oh, yeah- there was even a drinking contest to see who claimed the last one.”

“Good to know even in Monterey people appreciate your skills.” Keith hummed, thankful to be moving on. He tapped the table space in front of Pidge. “Can I?”

Pidge reverted back to making a face. “I don’t know, can you?”

“It’s like we never left high school.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Pidge pushed the tray over. “Real original, Mr. Writer.”

Keith took a cream, and let it sit in his palm. He looked over at his friends, who seemed to be mouthing things to one another. “What? What are you two-”

“Nothing at all.” Pidge stole a chunk of Hunk’s croissant. “More importantly, where are you living, exactly?”

Keith poured the cream into his coffee. “In Monterey.”

“I would kill you for that, but where’s the fun in that?” Pidge sat back in their chair, smiling. “I’ll find you.”

“Oh god, ok.” Keith set the empty cream cup down. “I live on Soledad Drive. Are you happy?”

Pidge sat back, and snapped their fingers. “Yes. And I just remembered something.” They smiled.

“What, pray tell, is that?”

“Oh, you think I’m gonna tell you?”

Keith shrugged, and picked up his coffee. “Alright, then. Keep your secrets, you bastard.”

Pidge looked over at Hunk, and grinned. “Ah, reunion, _sweet_ reunion.”

Hunk only shook his head, but still smiled a small smile. “To us.” He raised his cup.

There was a resounding clink.

The sound was something that Keith carried with him as he drove back to his apartment, smiling. He felt lighter, and carried himself with a little more ease as he walked through the hall and up the stairs. 

As he reached the top, he saw the figure of some woman, hand raised to knock on Lance’s door. Blonde hair cascaded down her back, the very same from her photos just on the other side of the door.

 _Fuck_.

As Keith took a step, she turned, expectant, and then her shoulders dropped. She gave a slight smile. “Sorry, I thought you were my- someone else.”

Keith smiled, even though he felt a twist in his stomach. “Ah, makes sense. Bye.” He did a 180, and retraced his steps back to the car. He climbed in, shut the door, and rested his forehead on the steering wheel.

It took every bone in his body not to scream- just, scream. 

Instead, he took a few deep breaths. _It’s- it’s literally none of your business_ , he reminded himself. _Still_. He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and he sat back up. As he relaxed against the back of the seat, he felt a strain on his back. 

Oh, right.

He reached behind him and massaged haphazardly with one hand. As he did, he took a glance around and remembered where he was.

 _Well, no time like the present_ , he thought.

About an hour later, he was back in the apartment parking lot, with a futon and some bedding. He committed to the walk, all over, and ran into no one. 

How it should have been the first time. 

It was late noon when he came back, and the sun was actually peeking through just a little from behind the January clouds. He opened the sliding door just a crack, and Kosmo plopped down next to it. 

He busied himself with trying to set up some attempt at a living situation- with the futon in the other room, the supposed “bed” area. Once he did that, he dumped out his clothes next to fold them- again. He plopped down in the middle of them, and turned on his music. 

He snapped out of it once the clothes were folded, and his stomach growled.

Right, food.

In the middle of things cooking on the stove, he glanced over at Kosmo. He scooped some food out in a measuring cup, and shook it. 

Right before his eyes, something came away from Kosmo. It grew a little taller, and opened its blue eyes as it stretched.

Keith threw the cup in the air, causing the dog food pellets to fall and scatter everywhere against the floor. “Fuck!” He placed a hand over his beating heart, and knocked a pan to the floor as he leaned against the counter next to the stove. “Oh, come on.” He stood there, watching as the cat came forward and sat in the middle of the room, it’s tail giving a quick sway as it looked at him dead on.

Kosmo remained asleep through all this.

“Really, Kosmo? Really-”

A knocking sound cut through the air, and after a second, Keith registered that it was coming from his door.

Probably the downstairs neighbor. Keith massaged his temples, and put his hand over his heart again. He began massaging his chest, and gave one last glance at the cat, then gave a tired glance at the mess, before standing in front of the door. He prepared a brief apology in his head, and then opened the door. 

Which, of course, caused the apology to fly away from him as well.

“Hi.” 

Keith felt his stomach do a somersault.

Lance gave a little wave, palm absolutely covered with traces of flour. There were little patches on his face as well, but Keith really had to reign his gaze in before it became downright inappropriate staring. “I heard all the noise, and thought it might be..alright to check in? Make sure you’re- oh my god,” he finished, and pressed his hand to his face as he stared off to Keith’s side.

Keith followed Lance’s gaze, and watched as the cat pranced past him, and rubbed against Lance’s ankles. 

“You little bastard.” Lance reached for the cat, and stopped mid-bend. He straightened, and smiled sheepishly. “You’re lucky I can’t pick you up.” He glanced over at Keith, and smiled. The addition of flour to the one side of his face made Keith’s fingers itch to reach out and dust it off.

So bad. 

Lance held up his hands. “She’d go white.”

“Well, she kind of made me turn white,” Keith finally said, ignoring the way his mind was going wild. “So, it might only be fair. Just a little.”

Lance looked down at his cat. “You hear that, sweetheat? You almost killed someone.”

 _Sweetheart? Unfair- reign it in there_. “Almost. But, I’ll live.” Keith crossed his arms over his chest, then stopped that, unsure of how to pose. _Pose_? “So, I take it that that's your cat?”

“Yeah, she’s all mine. I’m guessing you’ve seen her around?” Lance looked at her as she sat next to him, and he cast a fond smile down at her. “She’s quite the explorer, I’ve heard. Hope this is the last scare she gives you- for a while, at least.”

“Me, too.” It was then that Keith’s brain decided to abandon him. _You literally work with words for a living. What are you doing_? He stood there, wanting some sort of familiar to use as a topic- something, but- the image of that woman flashed in his head.

“Anyhow, glad you’re ok? Yeah?” Lance looked over, and cocked his head to the side as he stood on the other side of the doorway.

Okay. 

Funny how that word just kept coming up.

“Yeah. Just gotta clean up-” Keith glanced over, and was met with a concerning amount of steam rising from the pan- “and make sure I don’t burn this place to the ground.” He ran over, and turned off the flame, rapidly turning the fan on. “Shit.”

“All good in there?”

“Yeah, I-” Keith turned to see Lance leaning his head into the doorway, and he gave a stupid thumbs up. “It’s cool.” _Cool? Please_.

Lance smiled. “Alright. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I also have some food to check on, after I escort my cat out. Again, sorry about that.”

“Sure. No- no worries.”

Lance gave a little wave, and disappeared. 

Keith could hear part scolding and affection as Lance walked the cat back over. He smiled to himself, and then glanced over at his dinner, which smelled way too charrish to even be close to the threshold of decent. He sighed and cleaned up.

Once he flicked the warm soapy water off of his hands, he grabbed his keys.

“Hey, Kosmo, want to go for a ride?”

Kosmo’s ears perked.

And like most of the years past, Keith stuck to his outlet.

No inspiration for writing? Ride.

Sick of sending out applications to work? Ride.

And now, thinking a little, always, of Lance, even though he shouldn’t? 

Ride.

And like that, a week went by like no one’s business, and Keith had filled up his tank more times than he really should’ve. 

He turned off his car in the parking lot and looked over at Kosmo. “Do you think these rides are more for me?” He threw out and removed his keys, the sound like a punctuation mark. 

Kosmo pawed at the window, then pressed against it.

Keith glanced over, and in the night, could barely make out Lance’s cat.

“What is it with you and that cat?” Keith asked, really hearing the judgement in his voice, and sat back in his seat.

 _Alright, Kogane, calm down. You don’t want anyone asking you that sort of question_ , he admitted as he pocketed his keys and stepped outside to let Kosmo out.

He rubbed his eyes, and took a second to feel just how tired he was, and just how much his body and mind needed a longer recharge. He looked at his phone, seeing it was 9 or so, which might have been for the best.

He watched as Kosmo bounded ahead of him at all times, and up the stairs. As he took each step one at a time, he heard some exclamations. He walked a little faster, a “Sorry” right on the tip of his tongue.

But then he saw.

In front of him, he watched as Lance and the woman stood there in front of his open door, with Kosmo sniffing at Lance’s ankles. Lance had a hand hovering behind her, and Keith felt even more tired but not tired anymore all at once as Lance made eye contact with him.

Keith, not wanting the seconds to pass between them any longer, moved forward. “Kosmo, c’mere.” 

Kosmo followed, and waited. 

Keith went right for his door. He zeroed in on the keys as he heard nothing, and in the middle, footsteps and the sound of their door closing. He felt a surge of something, and finally managed to fit the key into his lock, turning it. 

“Alright.” He muttered, and moved in after Kosmo. He shut the door behind him, and stood there. “Alright.”

The surge left him with an energy he wasn’t sure he could handle. 

He paced around a bit, and made it to the bathroom, rethinking after seeing himself in the mirror. 

“You’re so-”

 _What_? His mind supplied. _What am I_?

“-so...he’s so ridiculous.” He let the words go, and felt his shoulders relax, a little. “After all...all that-”

 _Why do you care_? He thought, and he stared at himself until he heard the faint sound of laughter through the walls. _What do you have to do with this_?

 _Feel it_ , Shiro’s voice came through.

Feel _what_? 

What _feeling_ , exactly?

And for the first time in a while, Keith felt the urge to watch his fingers actually fly and pour something onto the page. He shut the light off, and walked with great intent, removing his laptop from his charger and took a seat in the middle of the floor. He opened his laptop, and in a zoned-out haze, he found himself staring at a blank page, black bar blinking against the white sheet of endless possibility.

 _Write_ , his mind sounded, and it wasn’t a matter of begging.

Keith took a deep breath and let it all go.

It wasn’t until a page and a half later, a little over single space, that Keith heard Kosmo run in his sleep. He had just reached beginning to understand acceptance, when he looked up, seeing his dog move his legs against the floor.

“Going somewhere good?” He cracked a little smile, and then looked back at all the words, all the emotion, on the page. He read it once over, and felt everything a little less. He took a deep breath, and glanced up at the open job application tabs.

He moved to close one of them, his cursor over the little x to a page regarding a remote position writing for a children’s book review blog.

He hovered.

  
“All you seem to do is read.”

Keith looked up from the shadows of leaves dancing on the pages of his book. “Yeah, and tune out everyone else.”

“Yeah, but like, it’s recess!” Lance stood over him, and stretched out his arms in the spring sunshine. “There’s so much to do out here that’s not homework- or reading.” He gestured to the book in Keith’s lap.

Keith let his head hit the tree at his back and raised it as he placed his hand on the pages. “Recess is free time, right?”

“Right, but-”

“Well, this is how I want to use mine.”

Lance rolled his eyes at that, and then, took a seat next to Keith.

Keith startled a little, and didn’t know where to look. All the sounds of recess seemed to dim more than ever as he sat there under the oak tree. With Lance.

Lance looked over, and glanced at the book. “What are you reading?”

Reading. Right. Keith glanced down. “Oh, uh-” 

Lance reached over, and moved Keith’s hand, causing unintended sparks in Keith’s blood. He took the book, and placed it against his thighs. He craned his neck, and quietly read some of the words aloud to himself. 

Keith could only watch, slowly taking his hand and hiding it behind his back, unsure of what exactly to do with it. He slowly squeezed it into a fist, but felt the spark all the same. 

After a bit, Lance laughed, then looked up. “This seems so serious.”

“Yeah, well, it’s- it’s about clans of animals. So, it’s supposed to be?”

“But they’re cats?” Lance raised an eyebrow. “Like, cats.”

Keith, hand still generating some sort of feeling, ignored it as he reached out to take the book back. He closed it, and showed the cover to Lance. “Ok, but they aren’t just cats.”

Lance looked away, then looked back. “What the heck are you talking about?” 

Keith took a deep breath. 

“Listen.”

_God_ , Keith thought, as he buried his face in his hands in his living room at the memory. He eventually cracked a small smile, and laughed.

Kosmo perked at that, and looked over, expectant.

“Are you just a big cat?” Keith couldn’t help but ask, out loud. “Or are you like a pack of cats in a trench coat?”

 _Jesus, you need to go to sleep. If Pidge could only hear you_ , he thought, and he shook off that thought. Then, he took a pause. “Pidge- if you can hear me, you’d better stop that.”

He waited a hot second, and silence was all there was.

He shut his laptop, and checked his phone.

As he merely looked at his home background of the Arizona skyline, a banner notification from Pidge popped up.

**Pidge 10:11 pm**

**> >> ok so i am like 110% certain i know where you live. keep on ur toes lol**  
**> >> but onto something more important**  
**> >> the details for my photog exhibit :) be there or else *knife emoji***

Keith rolled his eyes, and opened the conversation.

**> >> Please stop threatening me**  
**> >> and only because i told you the street name, cheater.**  
**> >> Other than that**  
**> >> you know nothing.**

And they didn’t. He clicked on the link for Pidge’s event, and saw the date: February 16th, and he took a deep breath. 

A month out, he thought. and switched to his calendar app. He typed the event in anyways, and saved the date.

**Pidge 10:14pm**

**> >> trust me, i Know. with a capital K**

Keith only stared at his screen.

**> >> …**

**Pidge 10:14pm**

**> >> i know everything**  
**> >> my eyes and ears r superior to everything created by god**

Keith snorted.

**> >> I highly doubt that. **  
**> >> Anyways, why are you so insistent on telling me this?**  
**> >> Pidge?**  
**> >> Hey. Answer me.**  
**> >>???**

**Pidge 10:16 pm**  
**> >> :)**

Keith sighed, and exited the conversation. 

What they know couldn’t be worse than- than what?

He closed his eyes, feeling the tired seep in again. After taking a moment to simply sit, he set his laptop on the floor and made his way to his futon, and slowly lowered himself to lie on top of it. 

“You’re gonna- it’s-” He sighed, forgoing the self-assurance. “Time for bed.”

He rolled onto his back, and then back onto his stomach.

Then, back onto his back.

Ok, this clearly wasn’t working. 

He groaned, and got to his feet. 

There was a restlessness in him, all of a sudden. He obeyed it by walking to the sliding door, and letting himself out. The cool dark air rushed at him headfirst, but he took a deep breath, taking it as the first steps to almost feeling like new.

As he rested his elbows against the balcony railing, it was reassuring to see mostly nothing off in the distance, save a few lights here and there. 

But, there was something about the moon off to the far left, the way it cast off light. Full and impossible to miss, Keith found himself staring at it for a bit. The craters, outlined, sat, bold and everlasting. 

_Huh_. 

He began to draft something in his head. _Could be a poem_ , he thought, and felt a little spark of joy in him as he smiled, and looked off once again. In the parking lot below, he could make out all the shapes and then some.

He let his arm hang off, and felt it sway. He closed his eyes, and kept playing with his thoughts on the moon.

There was the sound of the sliding glass door off to the side, and Keith didn’t quite register it until he remembered just where he was. He stilled, and then carefully glanced over.

Lance’s cat jumped up on his balcony railing, and then, without fail, Lance stepped out after her. “Alright, you can only stay out for a bit.” He laughed, and reached out to pet his cat.

 _Jesus_ , Keith thought, and in the faint moonlight, thought he saw the cat begin to move towards him. He watched as the cat sat at the corner, tail swaying.

“Where are you-” Lance started, then halted upon looking in Keith’s direction. “Oh, I- I didn’t know you were there.”

Keith slowly stood, and glanced at the cat as it leapt over and sat on the corner of his balcony. “Uh, yeah. Just couldn’t...sleep.” As he kept letting his eyes adjust, he saw what seemed to be a sheet of white on Lance’s face. “You-”

“The facemask? Yeah, again. Wasn’t planning on running into anyone.”

“Makes sense.” Keith hummed, and wondered if it was okay to smile. Instead, he nodded once, and watched as Lance’s cat moved a little closer, within an arms’ reach. _Huh_.

“She really seems to like you.”

Keith considered that news briefly in his mind. “Nah, I think she likes my dog.” He held out a slow hand, pointer finger extended.

“She really didn’t visit the old neighbor, if that’s any reassurance.”

“Uh huh.” He continued to watch the cat, who kept her eyes trained on him.

“Seriously- she’s very independent, but pretty much a baby when it comes to new people. Or, just not very comfortable.” Lance sighed. “Which, I get- at my age, anyway.”

Keith finally looked away after hearing Lance’s voice go a little softer at that last part.

Lance had both of his hands hanging off the back of his neck. “Sometimes it’s the familiar that’s just nicer and...god, what am I talking about? You don’t- You must think I’ve overshared to you more than enough.” He laughed, again. “I should really get back in, anyways. Gotta-” He let his arms move away from him and he gestured to his face. “You know.”

Keith couldn’t help himself. “De-ghost?”

“That’s exactly it.” Lance held a finger to his lips. “Don’t tell anyone.”

At that, Keith smiled. “Sure thing.”

A comfortable silence settled between them, and Keith watched as the cat started to move closer when-

“Lance, are you coming back soon?” A distinctly faint, female voice came from inside Lance’s apartment.

Lance looked back. “Soon,” he threw back inside, and turned back to Keith. 

Keith watched him, and blinked.

“Ah, should probably-”

 _Don’t_.

 _Do not_.

 _Don’t you dare_ \- “Are you back...with her?”

There was an undeniable beat of silence.

 _Say something_. “It looked like the both of you were okay, I mean. Earlier.” Now. Keith watched as the cat turned away. “I’m glad.”

She jumped back over, and Lance watched, then scooped her up in his arms. “Yeah. Thank you. I mean it.” Through the faint sheen of moonlight, he smiled a little. “Enjoy the night air.”

“Thanks,” Keith managed.

Lance’s cat meowed one lone meow, and then they were gone.

Keith placed both his hands on the balcony railing and used his hold to lean back. He felt the stretch in his arms, and looked out at the silver-clouded sky. He took a breath, and held on for a good while.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked out at the sky one last time, moon and all. He started drafting lines in his head and made his way in, back to his futon. He lay back down, and covered his face with both hands.

 _If I go to sleep_ , he thought, _maybe I’ll wake up from whatever this all is_.

“Yeah,” he spoke aloud.

Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo that was chapter 5. 
> 
> it's been exactly two weeks since i posted the last chapter, so in term of chapter 6, expect it in another two weeks (or perhaps 3! or 4 cause a bunch of virtual grad stuff is happening). i will keep you updated, and hopefully give you 6k or so next time around! stay safe (i don't know about the rest of you, but i will be bingeing s2 of dead to me and terraforming the whole other side of my island over the weekend)
> 
> tumblr: bluethisisforyou  
> twitter: _staysharp_


	6. a little more sense of it (all that I want)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Keith. I think, if anything, it might be fate.”
> 
> Keith scoffed, part from how difficult it was to open the coffee can with his non-dominant hand. “Fate?”
> 
> “I mean, Keith, really.” The clatter in the background resumed a little. “For you to move now and be there at that moment? I mean, I know Hunk and Pidge are out there, but for you to find this...what’s this guy’s name?”
> 
> “Lance,” Keith offered, having given up on the can. He reached for a mug.
> 
> “Lance?!” Shiro practically yelled into the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from walk the moon's "all i want"
> 
> ~
> 
> you give a writer a couple weeks' break, you get a monstrosity of a chapter a couple weeks later to make up for it.
> 
> here's 9.9k

There was the sound of rain hitting the window as Keith rolled onto his back. He could only blink as he heard the spatter freckle on the pane, amidst the overcast bright coming through. As he lay there, he counted out the days that had passed.

 _One. Two. Three._

_Four, since that night_ , he thought, and stilled. Four days of just kind of being around, writing, and watching whatever. _Four, four, four_ -

There was a scratching at his door, and he turned to watch as Kosmo nosed his way in, creating a space big enough for his head to fit through.

Keith turned his head to the side. “Hey, bud.”

Kosmo sniffed the air, once, twice, and pushed open the door to walk over. He stood next to Keith, but didn’t sit.

“What are you-” Keith held his hands up as he realized. “Hey. Maybe do-hn’t.” The last word was squeezed out of him as Kosmo walked onto his chest, front paws sinking in. “Kosmo. _Kosmo_ , please.”

At that, Kosmo began to raise another paw to move up. 

There was the vibration of his phone against the floor. 

Keith turned to look, relief coursing through him. He took his chance and gently moved Kosmo off of him as he sat up. “Ok, back we go.” He gave him a quick scratch before getting his phone. “Hi, Adam?”

“Hi, Keith,” Shiro replied, nonchalant.

“Why do you call from Adam’s phone, again? You know he and I don’t talk much one-on-one, yeah?”

“You used to.” There was some clatter in the background. “Remember?”

“Yeah, I think it’s just...we don’t really, anymore. Just busy. Anyway, what’s up?”

“Wanted to do a check-in. I mean, I’d say it’s been a bit since we’ve talked. Maybe you have some different opinions on Monterey?”

Keith took a moment. “Not sure- jury’s kind of still out-”

“Wait, wait, wait.” The clatter stopped. “Is my baby brother, Keith Kogane, saying that there’s a chance-”

“I could feel worse about this place- you know that, right?”

“Do you?”

 _Do I_? Keith’s mind supplied, and he waved it away. “Not- No- It’s complicated, Shiro.”

“Does it have something to do with the new neighbor? Maybe? AKA, your first crush? Like, ever?”

“I sincerely hope you aren’t on speaker. _Again_.”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Would you care to, I don’t know, explain? I mean, how did seeing him make you feel the way you did?”

 _Ah...fuck it_. “He barely...remembered me, and referred to me as a stranger.”

“Ah.”

Keith threaded his fingers through his hair. “But get this, he apologizes to me by baking me bread. Like, homemade, watch-the-dough-rise bread.” 

Shiro hummed.

“I’ve run into him so many times, including me seeing...” Keith took a pause. He removed his hand from his hair and looked at his fingertips. “His ex came back and a few days ago they were together? Together.” _Again_.

“That’s certainly a lot to experience in a new place.”

“Yeah. It is.” Keith sighed as he got to his feet. “I just- I know it’s none of my business, but-” He walked out to the kitchen. “Part of it is just…”

“You’re still a part of it, in a way.”

“Kind of- but, not. I just, it’s stupid crazy how all of this is...here.” He reached for the cabinet and procured the coffee mix. “And how I’m here, Shiro. I thought it’d just be me and Hunk and Pidge. But instead? All this?” _Him_?

“Keith. I think, if anything, it might be fate.”

Keith scoffed, part from how difficult it was to open the coffee can with his non-dominant hand. “Fate?”

“I mean, Keith, really.” The clatter in the background resumed a little. “For you to move now and be there at that moment? I mean, I know Hunk and Pidge are out there, but for you to find this...what’s this guy’s name?”

“Lance,” Keith offered, having given up on the can. He reached for a mug.

“Lance?!” Shiro practically yelled into the phone.

Keith jerked, then watched as the mug he tipped out escaped him. He told himself to catch it, but it hit the counter and fell to the floor. As he looked down at it, he studied the largest chunk that came out.

“What was that? Are you okay?”

“Just dropped something.”

“Ok, that’s good. Anyways. Back to Lance. Keith, I remember Lance.”

Keith kept staring at the broken mug. “You what.”

“I think I met him once? But, he seemed like a sweet kid. You would not keep quiet about him to Mom.” Shiro laughed. “Mom came home and without fail, you’d go right to her, even if she was cutting things with a knife. ‘Keith, honey, mom has a very sharp knife right now.’ I think you even told me about some of his hobbies, which, I can’t quite recall, but-”

“Wonderful,” Keith cut in. “Now we both know you remember him. So, we should stop-”

“What’s he even up to now? Do you know?”

Keith, resigned, squatted and began gently brushing the broken bits closer to the largest piece of the mug. “He’s a wedding planner.”

“Oh, Keith. That’s so nice. Good for him.”

“Yeah, good for him,” Keith muttered. _Awful for me_.

“ _Keith_ ,” Shiro warned.

“Oh, are we saying each other’s names? I’ll go. Shiro.”

Shiro sighed. “Well, after hearing all that, I still maintain my point: that this is fate. Don’t you think so? That you two are neighbors now? After all these years-”

“Exactly. There’s so many years unaccounted for.” Keith stood, and went to grab his dustpan. “Thus, we circle back to the beginning which is this: he got back together with his girlfriend. I just- there’s something there I don’t know, and don’t really have the right to know.”

“Keith. I was thinking you become friends again with him, but guess you’re on another page, huh?”

“ _Shiro_ ,” Keith warned. 

“Alright. But, it sounds like there’s a lot going on, too. Things that might make you rethink your feelings toward Monterey. And, speaking of circling back-”

“Uh huh.”

“Just give it time. Maybe it’ll be work-related, too.”

“Maybe.”

“That’s the spirit. The world does wonders in surprising you- just try to keep an open mind.”

Keith brushed in the ceramic. “It’s kind of locked, thanks.”

“You’re a delight, Keith.”

“Anytime. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to properly dispose of this mug.”

“That’s not like you to properly dispose of anything. See- Monterey, Keith,” Shiro said, a knowing inflection dancing in his tone. “ _Monterey_.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.”

“Alright, that’s probably enough for now. I have to go check on the plants, but remember- keep an open mind. Talk to you soon.”

“Soon. Bye.” Keith slid his phone on top of the counter and went over to the trash can. He tipped the ceramic debris in. Then, he looked at the mug, a v down its side. All he could do was look at it, wondering if he was just supposed to throw it away.

There was a knocking sound, and Keith felt his heart lodge in his throat.

“Hello?”

At the sound of a woman’s voice, Keith relaxed. He stood, and opened the door to see Allura standing there, a pile of papers in the crook of her arm. “Hi.”

“Hi there! Just wanted to check-in, and also remind you of the events calendar!” She held up the stack of papers a bit. “You know, the one I gave you in your envelope.”

Keith thought back to the paper he crumpled and had thrown away some time ago. “Oh, yeah.”

She smiled and cocked her head to the side. “So- how are things going so far?”

 _Weird_. “Great. Definitely enjoy the layout of the place, and the balcony is nice, too.”

“Wonderful to hear. Glad this building’s treating you well so far.” She hummed, and then held out a piece of paper. “Revised events calendar.”

“Oh, thanks.” Keith took it, and made an attempt to look interested. 

“Wanted to get these out soon since we have our first one coming up soon! I like to do an end of January event every year, just to kind of touch base with everyone, before things get way busier.”

“That’s nice.” Keith tucked the flyer under his arm. “I will see what’s happening then.” 

“Wonderful! I really would love for you to meet those you haven’t- speaking of, how’s the neighbor situation?” She looked on in earnest. 

All Keith could do was think about how there was a thin wall just on the other side of him. “Pretty good. Not too much trouble- fairly...quiet.”

Allura quirked an eyebrow. “Really?”

“If anything, I think I’ve been a little louder at times- just, dropping things.” _God_.

“Interesting. I’ll have to ask Lance about it, then. Anyhow, now that you have that-” She pointed to the flyer. “-don’t forget. Have a good one, Keith!” She gave a little wave.

“You too.” Keith closed the door as quickly as he could without seeming rude. He paused, hearing the more prominent beating of his heart in his ears. As soon as he heard a knocking next door, he took off, retreating to his room to get lost in his music.

Again.

After some time, Keith was ready to head off for another ride.

He finished locking his door when the other door opened, the sound immediately triggering his fight-or-flight. But it was too late. Resigned, he gripped the doorknob in support.

“Oh, hey neighbor.” Lance accompanied his words with a wave. “Haven’t seen you in a bit.”

“Just kind of holed up- still kind of figuring out a system.” _A what? A what?_

“Ah, I get that. New place, new system. But I mean, you have those friends right? To go visit?” Lance held up his hands. “Wait, no, I’m not saying that…”

 _Those friends_. 

_He remembered_. 

Keith let his hand slip away from the knob, and for a second, it felt lighter. 

“...and I don’t mean to say you’re like without friends, you know? I just-”

It’s then that Keith couldn’t help but smile. He laughed, then felt himself want to speak, the words “You’re just like I remember” sitting there, and-

“No worries- I didn’t think you meant it like that.” 

Lance smiled, then rested a hand on the back of his neck. “Yeah, ok. That’s good to hear.”

Keith just smiled, then remembered. “I should get going- gotta-”

“Oh yeah, don’t let me keep you. In fact, I just remembered I left something back inside so I’m gonna go get it.” Lance pointed behind him. “See you.”

“Yeah, see you.” Keith moved past, and when he got down the stairs, he sat down on the bottom step to catch his breath. He cradled the sides of his head with his hands and took a second. _Maybe, just maybe, things will be okay_.

“Right?” He said aloud, and let it linger, jumping at the sound of footsteps and taking off.

Before he left the parking lot, he got a text. 

**Hunk 11:32 AM**

**> >> Want to come see the bakery? **

Attached was a link to the address.

Keith weighed his phone in his hand, and secretly, appreciated the direction. Then, another text came through.

_Pidge 11:33 AM_

_> >> I know Hunk asked but I demand you come to the bakery._

He rolled his eyes at that, but started the car. After checking Hunk’s actual directions to the bakery, and much studying, he put the place in his maps app, anyway. 

More people seemed to be out and about, what with the light shower going on. The windshield wipers fell into a rhythmic dance as Keith made turn after turn, reaching for the radio. He clicked through a few stations, then turned it off- he’d have to look them up later.

Finally, he pulled up to a street on what seemed to be the edge of town. He found an easy spot, and walked a bit before seeing a white building, detailed a nice warm yellow. _Huh_. He smiled as he looked in, then went to open the door.

Instead, it swung open, and someone all too familiar appeared. “Hey, can’t believe you showed up- and on time.”

Keith made a face. “Pidge.”

“Hunk,” Pidge called back in. “Free labor’s here.”

Keith scoffed. “You’re already here.”

Pidge turned back. “Not exactly a sick burn. Besides, I’m the tester, so back off- there’s only room for me.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You gonna let me in, Pidge?”

“Not until you answer this riddle-”

It’s then that Pidge was yanked away from the door. “Sorry, please come in!” Hunk beckoned with his free hand.

“Thanks.” Keith walked in, and was greeted with the calming scent of cinnamon. He had to take a second, as he closed his eyes and breathed in. He opened them, and a warm smile spread across his face. “Hunk, this place- it smells incredible.”

“Thanks! Yeah, I’m working on a new bread today- still working out some details.” Hunk slung a towel over his shoulder. “Come on! Come see!” He walked off, and Pidge was left there.

“And so you have your freedom once again. What will you do with it?” Keith teased, walking past.

“This,” Pidge said, and stepped on the back of Keith’s shoe.

“Mature.” Keith hopped on one leg and slipped his heel back in. “Real mature.”

“Rich, _really_ , coming from you. Now, come on. Things won’t taste themselves.”

Keith sighed, and glanced around the empty shop, seeing all the pretty iron white chairs at white tables throughout. A nice long window of some goods sat up front, with the chalkboard menu up above. He walked close to one table, and caught sight of the carnations and baby’s breath in the center vase. He smiled, and looked around.

 _So this is knowing_ , he thought. _What you want_.

It took him a few seconds before he went to the back, after recalling where he’d seen Pidge disappear off to. He didn’t expect to see all the flour all over, and adjusted to the sight of white all over Pidge’s front. “Think you’re supposed to taste the mix, not the separate ingredients.”

“Bite me.”

“Hey- can we have a nice gathering? Please?” Hunk handed Pidge the vacuum cleaner. He looked over at Keith. “Sorry to have to be baking- it’s pretty much a rush every day, so prep is key.”

Keith held out his hand, waving him off. “Oh, it’s no problem at all. In fact, it’s really a treat to smell such freshly baked goods.”

Pidge held their finger over the ON button of the vacuum. “Oh yeah? Such as bread?”

“Uh, that’s what Hunk’s working on, yeah?” _Wait, the bread_. “What-”

It was then that Hunk smacked Pidge lightly on the shoulder. “Please vacuum- please.”

“For you, Hunk?” Pidge pushed their glasses up the bridge of their nose. “Anything.”

“Good to hear.”

Then, there was the whirring and suctioning as the flour was removed from the floor. Pidge turned off the vacuum, and gave a thumbs up. “Gonna go dust myself off.”

“Please try not to powder the bathroom. Or, at least take the vacuum with you.”

Pidge quirked an eyebrow. “What, and not turn it into a powder room?”

Hunk grabbed the vacuum handle and held it out. “Please take this, or you will be removed from your taster position.”

Wordless, Pidge took the machine. They walked off with it, and exited to the front of the store.

“Don’t tell them this,” Keith said as he leaned his hip against the kitchen counter, “but their joke was sort of funny.”

“Oh, it was. I think it might also be an added result of our friend. He’s quite the funny guy.” Hunk, without waiting, clapped his hands. “Alright, now to wash our hands.”

“Our?” Keith echoed, trying not to forget about the “friend” comment. 

“Well, when Pidge said free labor, they were right. But, I meant for it to be a fun baking session. You know, to talk and also get some work done.” Hunk grinned. “You down?”

“How can I say no to a face like that?”

“You simply can’t. Besides, you still kind of owe me indirectly- for missing my party?” Hunk gestured loosely, while wearing a smile.

“Ah, sure. But, also, there was that guy-” 

It was then that Pidge walked in, sans vacuum. “Oh, are we talking about that neighbor guy? Is that who we’re talking about? If so, continue.”

Keith rubbed a hand against his face. “There’s nothing to talk about? I mean, what do you want me to say?”

Pidge leaned against the counter. “Uh, I don’t know? Like, everything?” They slid up on the counter.

“Everything?”

“I’m talking about backstory, Keith. With a capital B. Cause like, why even stop to comfort this guy in the first place?”

 _So many reasons_ , Keith thought.

Hunk set bowls down next to Pidge, then clicked his tongue. “Please get off the food prep area, and go grab some wipes.”

“Yeah, yeah.” They slid off, and came back surprisingly fast with the wipes. As they cleaned, Hunk began opening cabinets, looking for spices and whatnot. 

Keith revelled in the noise, and inwardly prayed Pidge would move on.

Pidge finished and capped the wipes. They slid them down the counter with alarming precision, and turned around. “So.”

“So?”

“Backstory, Kogane.”

“It was just that one night, Pidge.” Keith waved it off. “Nothing before.”

“Ok, maybe not the most accurate term- lets go with motivations instead.”

 _Way more accurate_. “I mean, the guy was crying. Out in the hall, of all places. Next to me. Would’ve been awkward if I’d left and came back.”

Pidge nodded. “Oh, ok. I get it.”

“Ok, great. Cause that’s-”

Pidge made an error sound. “I lied, Keith. Now try again, cause there’s definitely more.”

Keith sighed. “I just- the guy was in a tux, and he looked super sad, and maybe kind of cute? I don’t know, ok? And maybe he was some-” He shut his mouth as soon as he saw the look on Pidge’s face. “What?”

“Oh, so you thought the neighbor was attractive?”

“I did not say that.”

“Hunk, the records, please.”

Hunk, in the middle of measuring things with precision into different silver bowls, without missing a beat, went, “He said ‘maybe kind of cute’”. He screwed one lid onto a jar and looked over. “That’s what I heard.”

Pidge looked at Keith, a smug smile on their face. “Thank you.”

“Fine. But is that a crime? Is it?”

“No,” Pidge said simply. “Just thought the writer was leaving out too many details.”

“Ok. You got me- _there_.”

“Yeah, you know it. One last question, though: are you courting him?”

“What? Courting?” Keith let out a small snort.

“He broke up with his ex, yeah?”

“Ok, first off, we’re not like in medieval times.” Keith folded his arms across his chest. “And second off,...not exactly.”

“What do you mean?” Hunk interjected, stopping his movements to look over.

“Yeah, what are you talking about?”

“They got back together.” _Against better judgement_ , Keith thought, but dismissed the thought as soon as it came. “She was around, and it just seems like something I shouldn’t even comment on, near him or away from him.” _At all_ , he thought. 

“They got back together,” Pidge repeated, nodded their head twice, and then bit their fist. 

“Huh- that’s definitely...news,” Hunk commented, and gave Pidge a look before moving.

Keith watched them. “Why do you two look so affected? I mean, you don’t-”

“No, that’s not it. I guess I’m always kind of judgemental about that sort of thing...when I just find out about it. Like, right now.” Pidge grit their teeth, and smiled. “Interesting guy.”

Keith smiled to himself. “Yeah. Interesting.”

Pidge noted it, and elbowed Hunk, who also looked. They looked at one another, and Pidge raised their eyebrows. 

“Alright, well, that aside.” Hunk held up a pointer finger at Pidge, a ‘wait’, and moved a bowl and spoon over in Keith's direction. “Keith, do me a favor and mix?”

“Sure.” Keith rolled up his sleeves and began stirring. 

“I’m gonna go get something from my car,” Pidge called out before they vanished through the door. 

“Guess they really are the taster, huh?”

“That and very, very nosy.” Hunk picked up his bowl and set it in his arms as he stirred. “Anyhow, anything else happening in your life?”

Keith slowed a little as he began to hone in on the spiral trail left from the spoon. “Ah, you know- still...work. Looking for work.”

“Oh, really? Nothing good?”

“Well, to be perfectly honest, I’ve been...looking at a rather inconsistent pace, and...rarely.”

“Ah. Well, are you writing, then?”

At that, Keith felt his chest loosen, and he smiled as he looked over. “Actually…”

Hunk smiled and nodded his affirmations as Keith spilled out about some non-fiction and how he had revisited the idea of poetry. Eventually, when he was done mixing, he set his bowl down and walked over to put a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “That’s great, Keith.”

“Thank you. I really think it’s like a dam...has been broken.” Keith’s mind immediately went back to Lance. “All these feelings just like...falling through.”

“Feelings?” Hunk asked, and it was then that Pidge came back in.

Keith, feeling semi-grateful, watched as Pidge came over. “So, did you get what you needed to get?”

“What are you talking about, Keith?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Pidge- the thing you needed from your car?”

“Oh, I got it.” They leaned against the counter, preparing to hoist themself up.

Hunk cleared his throat. 

Pidge crossed their arms, and looked at both bowls. “Taste test time?”

Hunk smiled. “Sure.”

It all kind of passed in a blur from there.

Keith found himself sitting at one of the tables out front, after feeling like the heat from the ovens was too much. 

Well, that and Pidge always glancing at him as though they wanted to ask him something. 

He had excused himself and took a breather, smelling the cinnamon at a safer distance. It was comforting, if anything. He tapped the table absent-mindedly, and couldn’t shake the reactions from Pidge and Hunk about Lance’s breakup. 

_Were they judging me? Probably_ , he thought, and sighed.

There was a ding far off, and a less than muffled yell through the doors.

“Pidge, that’s great, but we have neighbors.” There was some shuffling, and pretty soon, Hunk walked out with a tray, followed closely by Pidge. “Hey! Bread’s done.”

Keith felt his stomach grumble. “Oh, thank god.”

Hunk set the tray down, and looked at both of them. “I’m going to go get a knife- be patient.” He walked backward slowly, and struggled with the door when he got to it. As he disappeared from view, Keith let himself laugh.

“He’s so funny. Like we’d-”

Pidge was already breaking off a corner chunk. They popped it in their mouth. They chewed around the hotness, open-mouthed.

“I guess I was wrong to use we.”

“You always are,” Pidge got out, and managed to swallow. “That may have burned the roof of my mouth, but damn, if that wasn’t worth it. Keith, grab a piece.”

Keith held up his hand. “I’m waiting for Hunk to cut me a slice, thanks.”

“Oh, come on dude. Just take a pinch.”

“I’m good.”

Pidge rolled their eyes and then broke off a piece, holding it out. “Take it.”

“Pidge-”

Pidge moved their hand closer. “Come on, just try it. That’s literally all I’m asking.”

  
“Hey, so I tried reading Warriors.”

Keith looked over to see Lance slide into the desk next to him. “You what?”

“Warriors. The cat book? Yeah?” Lance smiled. “Unless, I got the name wrong. In that case…”

Keith blinked. “No. Uh, that’s the one. I just didn’t expect you to...read it?”

“Well, the first couple chapters. There’s no way I could read something like that so fast.” Lance brought his backpack up on his desk. He zipped it open, peeling the top back. He fished around and brought out a book, and held it out at Keith. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Well, it’s a book about people, so be warned.”

Keith rolled his eyes.

“They’re kids, and there’s gods, and basically, it’s greek mythology.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t look so enthused.”

“Ah, that’s not what I meant. I mean, I don’t know.”

“Anyways, it’s my favorite book, and you should check it out.” He shook it a little. “C’mon.”

Keith didn’t know what was happening. “What?”

“Come on, just try it.” Lance smiled, again. “That’s literally all I am asking, Keith. You don’t have to read it, but just give it a chance?”

  
“-Keith? Earth to Keith?”

“Keith!”

Keith forcibly jolted as he resurfaced from under the past. He blinked, and looked at his friends, who just stared at him. “Hi. Sorry, was just...remembering.” He looked, and saw Hunk had slid him a piece of bread on a plate. “Ah, thank you.” He reached out, and took a bite. He felt a smile spread over his face as he covered his mouth while he was chewing. “Hunk, this is…”

“Told you,” Pidge said, and broke off another chunk. “Just like you to wait.”

Keith stilled at that, and then took another bite.

Everything passed again, until it was time for Keith to take off.

“It was so great having you over! Please come back, anytime.” Hunk held open the door as Keith walked back out onto the sidewalk. “You’re always welcome.”

“I- thank you.” Keith gave an attempt at a smile, Pidge’s words still knocking around in his head. 

“Hey. Are you okay?”

“I, uh, just getting used to everything, still. It’s fine. Promise.”

Hunk pressed his lips into a thin line. “Okay. Well, if you need anything, let me know.”

“Yeah.” Keith waved bye and walked off, the direction opposite where his car was parked. And he just walked, and kept walking. All he really saw for the beginning of his walk was the sidewalk, and then, he just managed to look up, finding himself near a pier. The smell of sea salt came through, cold, almost cleansing. 

He watched the pier, stretched out into the bay, brown and present.

He watched it, and turned back to walk right back.

When he reached his car, he climbed in, and started the engine.

He drove home in silence, and made a beeline for his apartment. And he just drifted in, taking a seat at the bar. He rested his forearms atop it and stretched out his hands.

He took a long look at them.

  
“Well, did you get a chance to read the book?”

“A bit, when I could.”

“Well?” Lance poked Keith in the shoulder. “Thoughts?”

There it was again- that electric kind of feeling from a few days ago. Keith stared at his arm, and looked back over. “Did you just shock me?”

“I don’t think so? Like, with static?” Lance reached over and poked again. “Does that hurt?”

“It doesn’t. Just…feels different?” Keith looked away, then back. “Anyways, I think it’s pretty good so far, the book.”

Lance smiled. “There’s a start. Ok, but also- where are you, specifically? I don’t want to spoil it for you, cause I wouldn’t do that. Spoilers suck.” He grinned, his presence somehow more warm and bright than usual.

Keith felt like he was in a haze. “Yeah, they do.”

“So, where are you? What’s happening?”

  
Keith found himself asking those questions aloud as he looked around, finding nightfall had come all too quickly. _Shit_. He looked over at the stove, where the clock read 8:32pm. _Shit, fuck_ \- He got up, and put food into Kosmo’s bowl, the noise resulting in the padding of paws. “Sorry, bud.” He pressed his hands to his face, and his stomach growled, reminding him of his recent inaction. _God_.

He glanced at the fridge, and felt the nauseousness build up in him. Without a second thought, he grabbed his keys and exited in one swift movement. As he went to lock the door, he heard a faint noise. He paused, trying to keep the noise separate from the adrenaline coursing through his body. He glanced over, and saw Lance quickly look back at his own lock, as he attempted to get the key in.

Keith reacted without stopping to think. “Are you okay?” 

Lance came to a halt, and looked over. “Short answer, no.”

 _I should leave_ , Keith thought. _I should_. 

“So, thanks. For asking. I just, I’ll let you be on your way-”

“Do you,” Keith said, gripping his doorknob a little tighter, “want to share the long answer?”

Lance looked over, a little incredulous. “What?”

Keith gripped the doorknob, hard. “I- I am sorry if this is crossing a line, but if you want to vent, I’m...here.”

Lance slowly moved away from his door. “You what? Why?”

“I don’t know.” And that was, in a strange way, the truth. Everything was too muddy and untimely, in Keith’s understanding. “Just wanted to give you the chance to not be alone- I’ve found it’s...better not to be. But, if anything, I’m talking way too much-”

“Yeah.”

“I’m talking too much?”

Lance attempted a smile. “That too, but, I think it’d be best to...commiserate on this topic once again.”

“Again?” Keith asked, quietly, and felt his eyes widen. “Are you-”

Lance nodded, once. He turned back to his lock, and with a deep breath, stuck the key in right. He turned it, and pushed the door open. He gestured to Keith over his shoulder to follow, wordless.

_Where are you?_

_What’s happening?_

Keith brushed it all away.

It was quiet, save the sound of their footsteps as they moved into Lance’s apartment. 

Lance hooked a turn around a corner, and then a few seconds later, there was the shutting of a door. 

Keith walked slowly into the living area. He observed what stayed the same, and on top of the bookcase, there was nothing. He bit his lower lip, and rubbed the inside of his arm. _What are you doing_? he thought. And before he knew it, he was thinking and thinking and-

“Sorry for disappearing, I just needed out...of my clothes.”

Keith startled, and turned around to see Lance in sweats and a baggy shirt. He felt his heart racing. “You’re fine. Really.”

Lance walked over to the couch and let himself fall into it. He grabbed a pillow, looked at it, and moved it away. He grabbed another, and hugged it to his chest. There was nothing but audible breathing for a while.

Keith didn’t know why, but he was afraid of speaking first, in a space that didn’t belong to him. So, he took his old spot back on the floor, and sat there.

There was that noise, again. Clearer, like sniffling. “So, as I’m sure you can guess, which is super presumptive of me that you care, but my girlfriend and I decided this wasn’t working.”

Keith looked up at Lance. “It was mutual?”

“In a way. But, in another way, it was a little more her, I think.” Lance focused lazily off to the side, not making eye contact. “And.” He laughed a little. “I kind of got chewed out by my friends, too.” He smiled. “Quite the day.”

“What do you-”

“Well, neighbor, you really might’ve been the only person to know that...we got back together.” Lance looked over, something unnameable in his gaze. “Kayla...and I.”

 _Kayla_. “Kayla?” Keith scrunched his nose in confusion. “I thought her name was Marina?”

Lance sat a little straighter at that. “What, no, that’s-” He stopped, then sighed. “Where’d you hear that name?”

“From Allura? She said that you and Marina were the pair next to me, and I-”

It was then that Lance laughed, actually laughed, and stifled it rather quickly. He pulled his hand away, smiling. “Marina is my cat.”

Keith blinked once, then again. “Your cat,” he echoed. “Marina is-”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Lance’s smile slipped a little from his face. “She never did much like Kayla.” He hummed thoughtfully to himself, and then settled back into the couch, holding the pillow. 

“Oh, I see.”

“Yeah.” Lance blew some air out of his mouth. He then looked over, looking immensely tired all of a sudden. “So, back to square one again, or something.”

Keith nodded, opened his mouth to speak, and then stopped. 

“I imagine I haven’t given you much material to work with.”

Keith looked down at his hands, then back up. “I mean, it’s not a problem. But, I’m also not sure where the boundaries are. You know.” Keith took a painful pause. “As stranger to stranger.” He pointed accordingly, and put his hand back in his lap.

“Hmmm, that makes sense, in a way.” Lance mused. “I think the reason it’s easier to talk to you is because, again, you know more about me, in regards to this situation than anyone else in my life and it’s just...nice not to be judged about my choices.”

“What do you mean?” Keith prompted, slow and careful.

“I don’t- Well, on top of me not telling people I got back with her for like a week, both friends and family have...expressed certain dislikes and opinions, mostly unsolicited. Like, it just was…” Lance let go of his hold on the pillow to gesture loosely with his hands. “It was...like showing someone something you’re proud of and all they see are the mistakes.”

Keith nodded once. “I get that.”

Lance paused, then looked at Keith. “I mean, in the moment? They were so off base. But, with the time between then and now, it stings a little because they were kind of...right.”

“Lance, I. I feel like-” _we need to address the elephant in the room, even if it’s just me_. “You don’t seem...how can I put this?”

“Don’t seem like what?”

“Like you wouldn’t choose someone horrible, you know?” Keith tried his best to maintain eye contact. “Like, that you’d almost not necessarily know better, but wouldn’t exactly tolerate something bad. Like you wouldn’t ask someone to marry you who- oh, god.” He slapped his hands over his mouth. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. And thanks, for thinking that- it’s sweet.” Lance sat up again, and let the pillow fall on his lap. “But you don’t know enough, apparently.”

 _Okay_. “Maybe you shouldn’t be airing this to me, then. Maybe write it down?” Keith offered. “I don’t journal as much as of late, but it might help.”

Lance held out a hand. “Sorry, for what I said just now. That was...rude of me. It’s not your fault we don’t know each other.”

 _Isn’t it?_ Keith thought _. In a way?_

“And just, ugh, it’s just so much, and honestly? All I want really is to not leave this room, cause this place is emptier...without her stuff.” Lance cracked a wavering smile. 

“She moved out?”

“She...did.” Lance nodded, and he pressed his lips together in a line.

Keith felt his chest constrict at the thought of anyone wanting to leave Lance like this. But, he refrained from getting swept away. “I’m sorry she did that to you.”

Lance looked over, a little wide-eyed. “What?”

“Well, to go past a simple ‘that sucks’, it seems like it was an irresponsible way for her to act, especially after agreeing to get back with you for a second time.” Keith couldn’t believe what he was saying. “At least, from my standpoint.”

“Thank you.” It’s a soft admission, a little scratchy as it came out into the air.

Keith jolted a little, and stole a glance to find Lance looking right at him. “Ah, yeah.”

There’s some more silence, and Keith didn’t know what to say. So, he got up. He gripped his keys, and felt too much that all came out like so: “Hey, this is really weird, but I was going to go for a drive earlier and I think, would you, do you want to come with? Get some air?”

Lance looked a little stunned. “A ride?”

“You know, drive around? Just to do it?” _Abort, fucking ab_ \- “But, I completely understand if you want to stay home, and we don’t know each other really, like you said-”

“Would you mind if I took you up on that?”

Wait, what. “No.” Keith shook his head, and then stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Not at all.” _Jesus, form sentences. Please_. “Do you need a minute?”

Lance paused, took a deep breath. He stood. “The quicker we’re out of here, the better.”

Keith could only nod, and left first.

He only really spoke once they made it to the car. “Sorry for the mess, or like anything.” He opened the door and climbed in.

Lance slid in, and shut the door behind him. He took a look around. “What mess? I think this is the cleanest car I’ve seen these past couple of weeks.”

“Still, just. Uh.” Keith felt the momentum in him keep going, but nothing was coming out. He stuck his keys in, then stopped. “I-uh, was just gonna drive around, but was there anywhere in particular you’d like to go? Maybe the beach?”

Lance just looked at him.

And looked at him.

Meanwhile, Keith focused his attention on turning the engine and headlights on. He busied himself, and turned down the radio before turning it off. As he turned back, he saw Lance looking right at him. Not in complete surprise, not in annoyance, not in fear. 

Just, observing him. 

He swallowed, and put the car in reverse. “Just let me know what you want.”  
  
He got a few blocks before Lance spoke.

“Would you mind turning on the radio? Anything’s fine.”

Wordless, Keith turned it on and let Walk the Moon fill the car. He tapped along so softly as he went through the motions of driving. As the song finished, he heard a bit of a gasp. He looked over to find Lance, who was covering his nose and mouth with the front of his shirt. “Lance?”

Lance seemed to startle. He looked quickly at Keith, then looked away. The tear wells were hard to miss.

“Are you- are you okay?” Keith glanced over, then back at the open road in front of him. They were beginning to follow a curve near a hill. “Are you-”

Lance let loose a sob, then smothered it.

“Do you-” Keith’s eyes darted between Lance and the road. “Do you need me to pull over? Lance?”

Lance’s eyes went wide, and he leaned forward in his seat. “There’s a pocket- turn- turn here.”

Keith watched as the turn came fast, the tiniest window. He didn’t think twice and the car slowed down as he hit the brake, and turned. He felt the seatbelt dig into him as he watched the road turn into an outlook parking lot. He kept his foot on the brake, and took a few deep breaths.

Lance reached out, and placed a hand on the side of Keith’s upper arm. “Jesus, that wasn’t a- a great choice. ISorry.”

Keith was having trouble barely hearing Lance. All he could feel was that pressure over his sleeve, reassuring in a way. “It’s- it’s all good. We’re alive.” He gently moved his arm away so he could drive over to a parking spot. His heart was hammering like crazy.

Keith knew two things as he put the car in park.

1\. He was glad for a spot to park the car, even if it bordered the ocean.

2\. The second he would turn the car off, there would be silence left to fill.

Before he turned the key all the way, he lowered his window, the sound of the tide pushing and pulling against the rocks. He shut the engine off, and took the keys out, keeping them in his grasp. He began to move them about, but stopped.

Meanwhile, Lance took a bit of a shaky breath and looked out ahead of him. “Ah, again. Sorry to have you pull that turn like that- it’s never been my favorite, and I know it’s here.” He managed a small smile and wiped underneath his eyes with his fingers.

“It’s, uh, all good. Hope you’re doing okay- better.” Keith could feel the sting of where his chest had pulled against the seatbelt. He slowly massaged the area, doing his best not to be too visible in his action. 

“In a way.” Lance blinked, then turned his head towards Keith. 

Keith looked out into nothing. “So, why this beach?”

“Why did you suggest the beach in the first place?”

Keith felt too exposed in his own car light. “The surfboard. On your balcony. Unless, I was wrong and it wasn’t-”

Lance shook his head gently. “It’s mine- you’re not wrong.”

Keith caught one glimpse of how tired Lance looked and reverted to looking out. “Oh. Then, well, I figured you must’ve liked it enough to own a poor attempt at a boat.”

Lance snorted.

Keith froze.

“Never in my life have I heard someone describe it that way.”

“What can I say? Not much of an ocean person.”

“Pardon my french, but what in the hell are you doing out here, then?”

 _What are you doing here?_ Keith repeated the sentiment in his head. “Well, I just thought...I have those friends out here, and I came from the desert. So, I guess I came for a change of scenery- for the job.”

“Ah, for the job. High-demand work?”

Keith removed his hand from his chest. “I’m a freelance writer, so, just kind of move with the wind.”

“Or wherever the tide takes you.” Lance attempted a grin.

Keith made a face. “Mmmm. I like mine better.” _Lie. An absolute lie, deep down._

“Gonna agree to disagree. But back to my point- were you just planning on living out here and never enjoying the beaches? The ocean?” Lance leaned forward a little as he looked over. 

Keith’s mind flashed back to his apartment, to the notebook he kept tucked away. He saw the schedule, the timing: Monterey, 6 months. “In a way, yes.”

“Seriously? No offense, man, but you offend me.”

“Sorry about that.”

It got quiet again. 

Keith could begin to taste the salt in the air.

“I love it so much.” Lance leaned back in his seat. “She loves- loved the beach.”

 _Ah_. Keith scrunched his fingers against his pants. _Right_.

“It was something we-” Lance winced. “There’s so much memory, you know?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Just, so much.”

“Kind of like in Frozen 2,” Keith let slip. 

Lance glanced over. “Kind of like what?”

“Oh. It’s a movie my brother and his boyfriend made me watch.” ‘C’mon Keith, we know you care about Elsa’s journey’ echoed in his head and he had to smile at that a little. “Where the water-”

“-acts as memory,” Lance finished. “I know.”

“Oh.”

Lance moved so that he leaned against the door moreso. “I think I’m just surprised you’re saying you’ve seen it.”

“Well, you don’t really know me.” _At least, me from the last ten years...or so_. Keith took his keys and stuffed them in his pocket, almost like a sound barrier.

Lance made a solitary clicking sound. “Ah, what a perfect pair of strangers we are.”

That word. 

Again.

Keith swallowed. _Should I?_ He thought. 

_What then? What_ -

“That’s all life is, connecting and seeing how that fluctuates. Just back and forth, like a wave.” Lance sighed, then stared out ahead. “There, and then gone.”

“Are you thinking about her?” Keith ventured, but rested his fingers on the lower part of the steering wheel for support. 

“It’s hard not to.” Lance’s smile looked pained. 

“Do you...want a moment of silence?”

Lance covered his face with his hands. “I think that’ll make this even worse, frankly.”

“Ok.” Keith sat back and laced his fingers through the steering wheel, trying to relish in the quiet he thought would come.

Lance slowly lowered his hands down his face, and eventually cradled it. “I just...have you ever wanted to marry anyone before?”

If Keith had been drinking something, he would’ve spit it out. “Uh, no. Not really.”

Lance looked over at Keith. “Really? No dream girl-”

“Guy,” Keith corrected. “Guy.”

“Ok, guy!” Lance began using his hands to emphasize his movements. “Guy. Dream guy. Dream dude, if we’re getting alliterative. For like situational purposes, name a celebrity who’s your type.”

Keith felt a little incredulous. “Right now?”

Lance snapped his fingers twice. “C’mon. Pick someone.”

“Ah, uh, Oscar Isaac?”

Lance slowly smiled. “That’s a good one.”

Keith couldn’t believe how much that made him freeze. “Thanks?”

“Ok, yeah. So, with proposing, especially to your dream partner, it’s just kind of...crazy? All the planning, and the ring, and thinking about what you’d want to say and everything. And like, you think it would be easy to work back from being a wedding planner.” Lance blew some air out of his mouth. “You’d think.

"And so, you want everything to be perfect.” It was then that he seemed to slow down, and there was a look in his eye. “Like, you love this person, and you’re _so_ sure...after a couple years.” He glanced over, making eye contact with Keith. “But then, it’s like having the rug pulled out before you even stand on it when the person ends things.” His words became more faint in the shared air between them.

Keith stayed still against his seat. “What you said makes sense. And I’m sorry it went that way.” He fought making a ‘but’ statement of assurance. 

“It’s just, you know- ugh. I’ve planned so many weddings and I am just trying to see where I went wrong.” Lance threw his hands in the air. “Like, all these other couples I’ve worked with managed to actually make it to the wedding planning stage.”

“Did you two ever talk about it?” Keith ventured. 

There’s a beat, then two. “Sometimes, yeah. But, just like tossing it out there. Never...never serious.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah. So, in all ways, God personally has it out for me.” He made a face and crossed his arms. Then, he winced. “Don’t tell my mom I said that about God.” He looked over. “She would not let me see the light of day ever again.”

“That important? God?”

“Very.” Lance slid down his seat. “She believes that God has a plan for me, and he only wants good things for me. It’s just...I appreciate that, I do.”

“Mmmm.”

“It’s just...it’s hard to wrestle with that in the moment.” There’s a beat of silence. “Do you believe in God?”

Keith took pause before he spoke.“I can’t say I ever really think about it.”

“Ah, so God’s plan for you must seem kind of crazy.”

“No, not really. I think...part of me wrestles with the idea of how people try to say that destiny, fate-”

 **“That’s fate”** echoed in Keith’s brain.

_Goddamnit, Shiro._

“-are the only explanations...it just doesn’t...put us in control of the narrative.” Keith placed his palm against the steering wheel, grounding himself. “And, personally, I just don’t think that’s the way to do it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Ok, don’t get me wrong, that was well put and all, but in a way, you’re kind of saying my mom’s wrong.”

Keith laughed a little. “I don’t think that’s factually accurate.”

Lance huffed. “Well, that’s your opinion.”

“Yeah, that’s true- I’m not saying I’m the end all be all.”

“Yeah, well, you came a little close. But don’t worry,” Lance looked over, as he smiled a little. “I won’t tell her. Or else you’d snitch on me.”

“I’m touched?” Keith spoke evenly, but deep down, was trying to navigate the fact that this was the way the night was going, with the boy from the past and talk of God.

“I’m sure you are. Cause that’s what I do- I touch people.” Lance splayed a casual hand over his chest. “Except, you know- her.”

Keith bit his lower lip, half thinking “If you really, genuinely touched me, I’d die” and half thinking “It’s gonna take time for him.” Which, really, was a strange sensation, in all of this.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Yeah, well, who knows. You’d think living together, after she was the one who suggested it, would be that...push.” Lance sighed.

Keith took a quiet deep breath. “I’m not...trying to imply any wrongdoing, but it takes...time to achieve even the relationship that would warrant ending in marriage. At least, from my perception here and there.”

“Not always.” 

“What?”

“From what I’ve seen.”

“Oh, really?”

“Uh, yeah.” Lance sat up in the passenger seat. “Do you know how many couples I’ve prepared for that only had been together for like a year or less? Take a guess.”

“Two?”

Lance rustled around, and held up his hands. “Seven.”

“No way.”

“I have a freaking binder or three, okay, of like every wedding I’ve ever planned for. Believe me, this isn’t a joke.”

“So, was that just like a question you kept on record? Like, some weird survey?”

“No! I always just liked to see what I might be working with, and if there was some cause to work at a different pace, or more efficiently, you know? So, I may or may not have scribbled it down somewhere on their page.”

“Their page?”

Lance sat back. “Take me home. Take me home this instant and I’ll show you, I swear to-”

“Whom?”

“Be quiet and let’s go. I’ll show you.”

Keith smiled to himself, then went to start the ignition. As he did, he paused, and looked back over at Lance, who was muttering to himself. 

_“I’ll show you.”_

He felt a slight warmth blossom at all the memories pushing and pulling in him, the “I’ll show you”s resurfacing. But, he let them play about as he drove, watching on and off as Lance reached out to mess with the radio without asking.

He thought about saying something, but realized Lance must’ve known the local stations better than anyone else. He just kept his eyes on the road, and listened as Lance danced between several stations, waiting for the music to come.

“I normally love listening to radio talk, but right now…” Lance threw out.

Keith took a turn. “I get it. You want to drown the feelings out.”

“Kind of. But, I also want to drown in them.” Lance turned the knob with the tips of his fingers. “So, as you can imagine, it’s the less than perfect storm.”

Keith nodded, for no one in particular.

The changing of stations continued, and before he knew it, they were back in the apartment parking lot. He sighed, and was secretly thankful for the lack of switching frequencies.

But it stayed, haunting him as he was suddenly back in Lance’s apartment. Just, the noise, over and over. White, and static.

He massaged at his temples as he stood near the kitchen bar, and when he opened his eyes, he saw a familiar shape looking up at him. “Hello...Marina.” He warmed at the thought of that embarrassing, fresh memory of him learning her true identity. He squatted down, and held out his hand. 

Marina sniffed it, and then bypassed it as she launched herself up so she could rest her front paws on Keith’s knee.

“Hi there,” Keith said, and moved his hand closer.

Marina sniffed and began to rub her face, the sound of her purring becoming audible.

 _She’s so sweet_ , Keith thought. Then, there was a loud thud that cut through the quiet, which made Keith fall back on his butt, while Marina sat where she was, tail swishing. 

“Oh my god.” There was a little laugh. “Are you okay?”

Keith looked up to see Lance resting his arm on a thick binder on the counter. “You scared me.”

“And you, Keith, scare me.” Lance extended his hand. “You really seem to have a way with cats- or, at least Marina. I’ve never seen her do that so fast.” He looked at her fondly, with an incredible ease.

Without thinking, and a little too trained on Lance’s face, Keith took Lance’s hand. He froze, and let his gaze fall onto him just holding on. His hand. Lance’s. 

“I’m going to pull you up. Ready or not!” Lance grasped Keith’s hand tighter and Keith felt his head spin as he got back on his feet. 

“Thanks.” Keith nodded, then saw he was still in a handshake hold. He let go, and stuffed both of his hands in his pockets. “So, is this the binder?”

Lance smiled, and patted it. “The most recent one.”

“Most recent? There are more?”

“They aren’t all from around here.” Lance picked it up and cradled it to his chest. “Sometimes, I do travel calls, depending on how much I like the couple.” He walked over to the couch and took a seat. “C’mere.”

Keith, still a little dizzy, went over. 

“Take a seat.”

“I’m fine. I can stand.”

“You’re gonna have to sit, or else you won’t be able to see my secret notes.” Lance patted the seat next to him. “Now, c’mon. Promise I don’t bite.”

Keith mentally prepared himself in the seconds he had as he sat down, leaving as much buffer room as possible between him and Lance.

Meanwhile, Lance placed his fingers under the front of the binder. “Ok.” He held his position. “Ok.”

Keith watched the way his shoulders drooped a little. “You don’t have to open that. I believe you, that you’d make notes like that.”

Lance turned his head to look at Keith. “What makes you say that?” He then proceeded to open the binder.

 _So much from so long ago_. “Based on tonight,” Keith finally said, the pressure in his chest lessening by just a fraction.

There was the flicker of a smile visible on Lance’s profile as he flipped through the pages. “I guess that makes sense.”

Keith turned to look at the wall opposite him. He took in the tv, the absolute emptiness around it. “Mmmm.” _Shit_.

“Thank you, for trying to make me feel better.” There’s the sound of plastic-covered pages being flipped. “If that’s what that was. And for the ride. And for just, sticking this out with me.” Lance scanned the pages as he flipped through. “Just, thanks.”

Keith could only nod.

“Mmmm, here’s one.” Lance passed the open binder over to Keith’s lap. He pointed at the glossy page. “Them.”

Keith saw only a couple’s photo paper clipped to the page, which was a filled out form. Off to the side, he saw small writing in blue. 

One year. Right out of college. A method??? 

He snorted. 

“What?”

“The ‘a method’ part.”

“Hey, that was a while ago, in my defense. So, you know, before my...ex.”

“Still.”

Lance sighed, and sat back. “I just...I thought it was time, you know?”

Keith nodded. As he opened his mouth to speak, there was a growl that filled the silence. He looked down at his stomach, and remembered.

“Was that- are you hungry?”

“I, uh, may be realizing I forgot to eat dinner. So, I should-”

“Oh no. Did you- were you going out to grab food when you ran into me?”

Keith pressed a hand to his stomach when it went off again. “Kind of.”

“Ok, well, I have some leftover pizza from last night.” Lance got up off the sofa, then stopped just past the couch, looking back. “Do you like pizza?”

“I do, but I should-”

“It’s the least I can do, what with me making you drive me everywhere.” Lance made his way over to the fridge. As he opened the door, he called out, “Do you want it microwaved?”

Keith took a second to absorb the moment, the strange domesticity of it- _almost_. “Cold’s fine.”

“Definitely a good choice. Me, though?” Lance grinned, then took the box out. “I could go either way.”

“Must be some good pizza, then.”

“The best.” Lance shut the fridge and popped open the box. “It’s just pepperoni and mushrooms- that okay?”

“More than.”

“Nice.” Lance moved about some more, then brought over two plates. “Hope you don’t mind, but I also could use a snack.”

“This is your home,” Keith said as he took the plate. “I don’t have any business saying what you should or shouldn’t do.”

“That is true- at least the second thing you said.”

“What-”

“Try the pizza. Swear on my life it’s the best.”

“Really? On _your_ life?”

“Yes, because sometimes my life is equal to, if not more important than, God’s, and if you try to tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.” Lance pointed a finger his way. “Anyways, just try the pizza.”

Keith rolled his eyes and took a bite. He chewed, and felt as his hunger craved more. “It’s not bad.” That was an understatement, and his thoughts were intensely preoccupied with wanting to know what the pizza would taste like warm, fresh.

“Exactly- I never am wrong in my taste.” Lance dug in into his own, and then there was silence again.

As Keith ate, he took pause. He held his slice, and glanced at Lance out of the corner of his eye. Lance, once a sixth grader, now an adult, just like him. Still the same short curls, and energy, like the sea. He blinked, and wondered just how this was his life. 

He got a little lost as Lance looked over, then kind of halted. “Are you- are you not hungry?”

“Ah,” Keith looked down at his food, only a bite taken out, and then remembered Kosmo, even though he’d already given him food. “I think. I think I’m going to take this back, cause I need to check on-”

“Your dog, right? Kosmo?”

“Yeah.” Keith felt the weight of the paper plate in his hands, and a bit of a fuzzy feeling that he was trying not to feel. “Thank you for-”

“Of course,” Lance offered, and then smiled a small smile. “I should probably go on and start getting ready for bed, soon.”

“Rest is always good.” Keith stood, taking the plate with him. “Good night, then.” He began to make his way to the front door.

“Ah, wait.”

Keith spun around. “Yes?”

“I know this isn’t for a bit, but I’m just curious- are you planning on going to the building events? Namely, the one at the end of the month?”

Keith felt a little lighter as he stood there. “I was...thinking about it.”

“Yeah?” Lance smiled. 

Keith nodded.

“I’ll see around, maybe, at that.” 

“Maybe.” Keith smiled a flicker of a smile. “See you.” He walked out, and made it back to his apartment. He took a seat at the kitchen bar and worked on finishing his dinner, occasionally stopping here and there to give Kosmo some bites.

 _Maybe this will all be okay_ , Keith thought.

 _Like I’ll be okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing a slowburn. It's official. Also, it's been two months since I've posted the first chapter! Thank you all for reading and sticking with me on this.
> 
> So much has happened in the past month: I officially "graduated" college with everyone else (I finished back in January), I received an award for my creative writing (I needed that affirmation so badly and I didn't even know), and I've started intern work again (after a crazy, crazy month where I couldn't do anything). 
> 
> The Black Lives Matter movement has been amazingly loud in the US, and it's still going strong. I have signed petitions and donated what I could, and I will continue to do my best to learn and spread information. Black lives matter, and they always have. End of discussion.
> 
> Until Chapter 7, my loves. Take care of yourselves.


End file.
